76 – March 17
“Praise, like gold and diamonds, owes its value only to its scarcity.”—Samuel Butler
I have been very blessed in this life with a wonderful, supportive, loving family. My two sisters are married with children, and live within two blocks of each other in Chatsworth, California. (They family joke is they used to live six blocks from each other, but they couldn’t stand the commute.) I get to be the auntie, and developed the tradition of taking the kids out for a day trip each year for their birthdays.
One year, the kids and I decided we wanted to go to Disneyland, and since this was a big, fun trip, all the other adults in the family wanted to come, too. So there were eleven of us: Two moms, two dads, grandpa, me and five kids ranging in age from 1-19. After a great day of seeing sights, riding rides, and shopping ‘til we dropped, we all trouped into a restaurant at the Disneyland Hotel to have dinner.
Hungry and tired parties of eleven, including a baby in a highchair, must seem daunting to most waitresses. But not Carmen. She was bright, she was cheerful, and she managed to make everybody happy. She got the special orders with no problem, all the changes so the kids were happy, and was efficient and upbeat the entire time. She was great!
At the end of the meal, I excused myself, went to the front desk and asked to see the manager. The hostess tensed when I made my request, and said she’d be back in a minute. I saw her go back into the kitchen and speak briefly with a young man. His shoulders slumped, he hung his head for a moment, then braced himself, straightened his tie and started walking out to see me. When he reached me, he asked tensely, “You wanted to speak to the manager?” As I said, “Yes,” I noticed several other employees were hovering around, trying to look inconspicuous, but very interested in what was going to happen. Some patrons had stopped eating and were listening, too. I was going to have fun giving them all an earful—an earful of praise.
As I proceeded to tell this young man every wonderful thing I could think of to say about Carmen, his restaurant, and everybody in it, his smile began to turn into a grin and he blushed with pleasure. The other employees started grinning, too, and nodded to each other. The hostess beamed and the patrons caught the smiles also. It was really fun! He thanked me, and said, “You made my day.” I said, “You made mine, too!”
Make someone’s day—and you’ll find you make yours, too. Never miss a chance to pass along a compliment or a kind word. It’s so easy! People are praise hungry. Feed them.
“I am a praise-making machine, and I’m making a lot of it today!
Sometimes as hard as you try, as much as you plan, something disastrous happens and all your wonderful ideas land in the black mud instead of hitting pay dirt.
All you can do is grit your teeth and repeat “There are no problems, only opportunities for growth” and move on. Once we think we’ve got the lesson, bang! We get it again. Sigh. Read below about my free teleclass snafu one October – you may be surprised at what the real lesson turned out to be. It was one I knew was important, but hadn’t thought about in awhile…
Hi, Dolphin Friends,
Thank you so much for registering for my complimentary call “Confidence, Charisma, and Cash”. I was delighted to chat with you all who got the message of the correct access code in time to join in. Thanks – it really was so much fun!
We had a big major OOPS!
Somehow, the access code number that was sent in your confirmation letter got transposed and was incorrect. As soon as we recognized the problem (thanks for all the calls and emails y’all) we sent out a notice to everyone with the correct number but a lot of you didn’t get it in time to make the call.
(Isn’t that just like the WORST thing you can think of to happen to you if you’re giving a call?? Sheesh. It’s like you invited everyone to a party and then gave them the wrong address…)
Oh, well. Overcoming obstacles and surviving the Breakdown so you can Breakthrough is a big part of becoming successful – its Class 6 in my 8-week workshop, so I am just filing this one under “S**t happens” and moving on to recovery!
So here’s what I’m gonna do…
And then I gave the Encore call information, and we had that one on Saturday. I called it “Take 2” just like in the movies.
I created this email to go out to everyone on my list, but I also sent it individually with a personal note to each person who had emailed me about the problem to thank them.
I hope you have read this far, because here is the gem you need to know about situations like this: “Your People” love you and are pulling for you through thick and thin. They have your back. I received some of the most beautiful, loving, supportive notes from my Dolphins, like these:
“Thank you Chellie for a wonderful call yesterday. I thoroughly enjoyed it and loved your example of how to handle a bump in the process. It was so graceful and I learned so much on how to break through during break downs. You ROCK Chellie!!!!! Can’t wait for my workshop. I’m a lucky person and I am surrounded by a powerful winning force!!!”—Kimberley Steinke
“It was awesome! Thanks Chellie! Way to demonstrate how to powerfully deal with a breakdown…you rock!”—Michelle Maher Ford
“Talk about making lemonade aide out of lemons. You really took what might have a very negative situation and used it to teach lessons & make people feel empathy…Aside from how great your material / delivery/ etc were, the way you handled the challenge could not have been better if you would have set up the circumstance to teach the lesson. Not that you would do that considering like you said you had about 500 people registered…But listening to you, well, as usual my friend, you are an example of how most of us out there want to shine. Thanks for always lighting the path. xoxox, gratefully yours—Zeda Spiegel
“Thank you for the info and the upcoming encore “performance”! I made it to the call late but enjoyed you thoroughly!! Great information and tons of fun. LOVE your sense of humor and stories. Your glitch was a “gift wrapped in sandpaper.” Have an abundant day!!—Donna from New Jersey
Warming in the glow of these lovely notes, I remembered back to a similar situation when a bunch of my ships – which I had proudly announced in a newsletter – unceremoniously sunk. TV show cancelled, radio show cancelled, magazine review cancelled. Arggh. So I wrote about that, too. Over 160 people wrote me to share their sunken ship stories, to thank me for sharing honestly, and to give me encouragement!
I reread what I had written about that event in my book, Zero to Zillionaire:
“How can you continue to feel bad about a few silly sunken ships when you are surrounded by loving friends like these? It was a great lesson to me to continue to open up, to be vulnerable, that sometimes love comes more easily to you when you need a shoulder to cry on and a cup of tea than when the world is cheering you from the stands. We think we get love from being fabulous and successful and rich, but that isn’t it. Sometimes that’s an impenetrable wall that keeps people isolated. Being perfect is not the best way to reach people. Being vulnerable is. People want to know you need them. People want to know you’re like them Everyone has sinking ships, everyone cries in the night, everyone needs a pat on the back and a hanky upon occasion. Your Dolphin friends love to be there for you when they can see through the chinks in your walls to your tender heart within. Open up. Let them in.”