75 – March 16
“Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God’s kindness: Kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile.”—Mother Teresa
Most of the people I know respond to praise like a thirsty dog getting a drink of water—they lap it up and glow. Unfortunately, some people would rather throw water on you than give you water to drink. But who wants to talk to them? People love being acknowledged for being wonderful. It makes them feel good. It also makes them feel good about you! A motivational speaker I know, Suzy Prudden, calls regularly and asks how I’m doing. When I say “Great!” she always says, “That’s true about you!” I love it when she calls.
A recent study found that talking with a friend lifted moderate depression as effectively as professional counseling or taking anti-depressant drugs. The researchers paired chronically depressed people with volunteer “friends” and were instructed to spend at least one hour together each week. At the end of the study, 39 percent of the control group, who were not assigned “friends,” reported an easing of their depression. (Some depression lifts naturally over time.) But sixty-five of the participants who spent time with “friends” experienced relief.
Be someone who lights up people’s lives. It’s so easy! Just be someone who compliments others on a regular basis. It has to be sincere—if you don’t really believe the praise you’re giving, it won’t go over well. Everyone has something they can be complimented about. Become a regular praise-giver, and you’ll have lots of friends who will be happy to see you or hear from you. And you’ll make a lot more money with a lot more satisfied customers, clients or bosses.
“I am a great people-praiser and people praise me back!”
Laura Arnold is a fabulous relationship therapist in Los Angeles. I met her through WRS – Worthwhile Referral Sources networking group. Recently, we were both asked to give a testimonial on behalf of WRS at their local Saturday Brunch meeting in Marina del Rey.
I spoke about how WRS was my first networking meeting ever, and how nervous I was and how I really didn’t know how to craft a 30-second commercial, and how I learned how to be effective by helping others and referring business to them. That in turn helped people get to know me and refer business to me.
Laura took a different tack. After praising WRS, she gave a terrific list of instructions, and I got her permission to share them with you (they will work for any networking group anywhere).
Laura Arnold’s Top 10 SUREFIRE ways to sabotage yourself at WRS:
- Arrive late to meetings, and leave before they end. (Extra credit: Be disruptive when you do this.)
- Take a long time to return phone calls, or, better yet, don’t return them at all.)
- Don’t join any committees or do anything to increase your visibility in the organization.
- Isolate yourself from colleagues in the same or related categories as yourself and never refer business to them.
- Attend meetings sporadically or not at all.
- Never refer business to other members or use their services or products.
- Ignore WRS protocol. Hard sell to everybody whenever you get a chance.
- Never meet with members before, after or between meetings to build relationships.
- Talk incessantly about yourself and never ask anyone about themselves or their businesses.
- Be focused only on yourself and what’s in it for you.
I promise you, if you follow all, or even most, of these guidelines you are GUARANTEED little or no business at WRS.
The audience howled with laughter. WRS has great training to teach you how to network effectively, and it’s based on Zig Zilar’s saying, “You can have everything in life you want if you just help enough other people get what they want.”
Here’s Laura’s information if you or someone you know needs a great therapist!
Laura Arnold, MA, LMFT
10436 Santa Monica Blvd., Ste. 3030
Los Angeles, CA 90025