78 – March 19
“Never get in a battle of wits without ammunition.”—American Proverb
How many times do you start a conversation with someone asking, “How are you?” and receive the answer, “I’m so tired?” What a disempowering response! It’s a negative affirmation. Then they probably follow that statement with a whole explanation of their problems, their overwhelm, their duties and responsibilities, the crosses they have to bear. Who wants to hear that?
If you are guilty of saying, “I’m so tired,” you need to develop a new habit. Start saying “I’m great—thanks for asking!” or “I’m wonderful—how are you?” If someone tells you they’re tired, change the energy of the conversation immediately by focusing them on something good. Here are some sample responses:
“I imagine you have an active, creative life filled with wonderful activities!”
“That must mean business is great and your life is full of wonderful friends!”
You get the idea. It just might get them refocused in a positive direction. If they really just want to complain, they will eventually try to find someone less upbeat than you. Great! Let all the “Ain’t it Awful” people hang out together and count you out. You go find the energetic people who want to talk about how great things are and getting better, too. Be about success, energy and joy every minute. Even when you’re resting. Get lots of rest and relaxation. Mellow out. Joyfully!
Keep your goals in front of you every day. Keep your action plan to achieve your goals where you can review it often. Eliminate activities that do not move you forward toward your goals, unless they are fun, restful, fulfilling, enjoyable, balancing activities that fill you with energy rather than deplete your energy. If it’s not fun, don’t do it. Pay somebody else to do it—you’ll both be happier.
“I’m so tired.” Bah. Tell it to your cat.
“Everything I do makes me richer and richer!”
Be somebody who lights up the room. Not someone who dampens it.
I don’t mean you have to run around like Little Mary Sunshine, always happy no matter what, never telling your best friend what’s bothering you. Sometimes you’re not going to feel great; the dog is sick, you lost a big account, the microwave broke (and the dishwasher, too—we’re not fond of Thermidor in our household right now).
Just don’t share your cranky bad temper with everyone you meet. Especially at work, a business meeting, or a networking group. That’s when you need to be “on” as in onstage. That’s where you need to be presenting your best self. You are your own walking advertisement for your products and services, and people will remember how they felt around you.
A friend of mine called me on the phone one day and said, “Hi, Chellie, how are you?”
“Great!” I replied.
“You’re always great. Can I ask you a question?” he said. “Do you ever get depressed?”
“Sure I do,” I answered. “But then I don’t answer the phone!”
You want people to remember happy, upbeat, confident, fabulous, intelligent, “can do!” you. Not cranky, overwhelmed, rushed, worried, depressed you.
Debbie Downer isn’t going to get the referrals—Freddy Fabulous is.