27 – January 27
“About all you can do in life is be who you are. Some people will love you for you. Most will love you for what you can do for them, and some won’t like you at all.”—Rita Mae Brown
As I’ve gone through life, I’ve been greatly influenced by wonderful self-help books by marvelous teachers, giving me life lessons in moments of illumination. One such moment came from a passage in Wayne Dyer’s book Your Erroneous Zones, where he reminds us that half of the people in the world aren’t going to like you, and there’s nothing you can do about it.
I was shocked. It was definitely an “Aha!” moment. I had been raised to be a good girl, a people-pleaser, always trying to make sure everyone around me was happy and that I didn’t offend anyone with any statement or act. What an impossible task! Doomed to failure and making me nervous and unhappy when I couldn’t please everyone. I was one of those people who would go to a party, find ninety-nine people out of one hundred liked me, but follow around the one who didn’t, trying to change their mind.
How much money is lost in life by people chasing people who don’t like them, trying to make them happy? It can be a boss, a client, or a family member. This person clearly isn’t one of Your People. Let them go! You will never please them, satisfy them or measure up to their vision of how you ought to be. You’ll make yourself crazy spending any time or effort on them…
Look for Your People—pick dolphins to be on your team. When someone asks me how you can tell who they are, I tell them it’s easy: You know Your People because you like them—immediately. And they like you back. Just listen to your gut instinct, your feelings. You can tell from the chemistry that flows between you, the quickening interest in their eyes, the body language that tells you they’re awake and listening. They have praise for you, your products or services, your ideas. If they are a client or a boss, they pay you well.
The Other People have “out of body” experiences around you. You know how this happens: you’re talking to them and their eyes glaze over and you know that mentally, they just left the room. Or some anger surfaces in the conversation, they take offense to something you said, or disagree strongly with your core values. They never think you’re good enough, they put you down, they “should” on you. If they’re a boss or a client, they will never be happy with your performance, they will niggle you to death over the smallest of details, and they won’t pay you what you’re worth—if they pay you at all! Instead of buy-buy, say bye-bye!
“All My People praise me and pay me!”
You know who your people are – their faces light up when they see you. Don’t you love that?
You can tell who they are when you call them, too. I was making Gold Calls on my Gold Phone the other day and two calls really stuck out in my mind.
Call number one:
“Hi, this is Chellie,” I said when the woman answered the phone.
“Yes?” she said flatly.
Thinking she didn’t remember me, I said, “I spoke at the meeting last month – I’m the author of The Wealthy Spirit…”
“I know who you are,” she broke in flatly. Then silence.
Eew. I could just tell by the tone of her voice that she wasn’t delighted to hear from me. So I just briefly explained that I had a class coming up and would she be interested in receiving some information about it? No, thanks, and we were done.
Call number two:
“Hi, this is Chellie,” I said again.
“Oh, my goodness, really? I am so delighted to hear from you!” she bubbled. “I am so glad you called!”
Ah, isn’t that just what you want to hear? The door was open for a wonderful conversation, and yes, she is interested in my class, too.
But what if I had stopped making calls after call number one?