28 – January 28
“If you don’t make a total commitment to whatever you’re doing, then you start looking to bail out the first time the boat starts leaking. It’s tough enough getting that boat to shore with everybody rowing, let alone when a guy stands up and starts putting his life jacket on.”—Lou Holtz
A friend sent Lillian to me. We met for lunch and had a good discussion of her goals and desires. She thought my course would help her and enrolled. As we stood up to leave the restaurant, I offered her some affirmations to get her started, beginning with “People love to give me money.”
Her face fell. “I don’t believe in affirmations!” she exclaimed.
Uh, oh, I thought. “Would you be willing to put aside your disbelief for the eight weeks of the class and give it a try anyway?” I asked.
“Well, I guess so…” she replied reluctantly.
Lillian called to argue with me after the first class and I coached her to put aside her “Yeah, buts.” Second class, same story. After the third class, she called again. “I’m not coming back,” she said, “I’ve thought about it and this class just doesn’t work for me.”
I said, “Okay.”
She laughed at that. “Okay?” she asked. “You mean you’re not going to argue with me?”
I said, “Nope.”
“But I have all my arguments prepared!” she exclaimed.
“I’m sure you do,” I answered. “But we don’t need to go there. If after three classes, you don’t think this workshop is what you need, then it isn’t.”
She offered to pay for the classes she attended, but I refused. Pay for what? She didn’t get it and wasn’t using it. She thanked me and we wished each other well on our separate journeys.
You are only looking for Your People. They have Your Money. They will love you and pay you. Other People won’t understand you and usually won’t pay you either. Why fight to try to get them, keep them, teach them what they resist learning? They don’t want what you have. Move on.
“There is plenty of money in this world and I’m receiving mine today!”
If I was writing this page from The Wealthy Spirit today, it would have been titled “Not My People”. I’ve found through speaking that when I say, “There are two kinds of people – your people and other people” it doesn’t get a laugh. It doesn’t quite work, does it? Then I tried saying “There are two kinds of people – your people and not your people” it got a big laugh. I will always go for the laugh…
“Your People” will like you immediately no matter what you do. “Not Your People” won’t like you no matter what you do.
It took me a long time to figure this out. I was stuck in the “Good Girl Box” and thought I had to have 100% of people like me. (Like that’s even possible for anyone.) But I thought that if someone didn’t like me, there must be something I could do to change their mind.
Give it up. Give it up now, forever. What a waste of time, trying to please the unpleaseable! Much too frustrating. And impossible. Can you think of anyone – any celebrity, religious figure, singer, saint – that everyone on the planet thinks is terrific?
Not Jesus, not Mother Theresa, not Frank Sinatra, not the cast of Glee, not Taylor Swift. Name anyone or anything. President Obama? Nope. Certainly not anyone in politics.
So why are you trying to please everybody?
My life became so much simpler when I just gave up on everyone who didn’t like me. It’s really fine, you see, because there are a lot of people in the world and I can find a nice group of friendly dolphins who really like me! And that makes me a lot happier than trying to please a lot of people who just aren’t My People.
Who would you like to let go of today?