340 – December 6
“Two monologues do not equal a dialogue.”—Nick Harrison
Tom and Linda are engaged to be married. Tom is nearly fifty, divorced with no children. He was married once before to a very wealthy woman, didn’t have to work, and so has a rather sporadic work history.
Linda is from a wealthy family, very taken with Tom’s charm and good looks. She has always resisted taking money from her family and works full time at a lucrative profession. Her goal when they get married is to quit her job, raise three children, and live on Tom’s salary.
Tom’s goal is to quit his job and live on his wife’s money.
Neither of them has declared these intentions to the other. Their agendas are hidden. They don’t know that their dreams are at cross-purposes.
Can this marriage be saved?
Can yours? Get all your agendas into the open where they can see light of day and you can see the inside of your spouse’s mind. Tell each other the truth and then make plans for each of you to get your needs met. Negotiate and compromise. It’s possible if you are honest with each other. Impossible if you are not.
“I speak the truth and declare my dreams so that others can help them come true!”
Ah, so many times we are afraid to be real, to show our true inner being, to be vulnerable and stand in all our perfection and inperfection in front of another person. We try to figure out what it is they want to see or hear and be that and say that. So many dating books are like “Wait and Manipulate” and revolve around planning, strategies say this and don’t say that and what a man wants is and what a woman wants is…but none of that measures up to being in your truth.
Be who you are and say what you think and show your feelings. What could you possibly gain by hiding yourself? Showing a fake self can only result in a fake relationship. Those who cannot measure up to your truth don’t deserve it.