69 – March 10
“The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it.”—Chinese Proverb
It was a beautiful Saturday morning at the L.A. Times’ Festival of Books, held on campus at U.C.L.A. It was fun to roam among the books and booksellers and hear some authors speak of their experiences writing and publishing. At one panel, Chris Bohjalian, author of Midwives, a national bestseller, was asked if he had ever taken any writing courses. He laughed, and said no, but it wasn’t through lack of trying. He had once applied for acceptance into a writing program and had sent in samples of his work. Nervous, nineteen and hopeful, he had entered the monolithic building for his interview with the well-known writing instructor. She sat behind a huge, overpowering desk, looked at him coldly and said, “Be a banker.”
Whenever you step out of the norm, you will encounter sharks. Out of moments of their own despair, possibly even thinking they’re helping, they will throw challenges at your dream in the shape of criticism. Remember that they do not know you and they do not hear your music. Perhaps they are really angels in disguise, whose mission is to make you angry, to goad you, to create the cement that will glue you to your dream with grit, determination, and power. As a friend of mine once said, “I didn’t know I had a dream until this man told me I couldn’t have it.”
So, who told you “No”—you can’t have that, be that, do that? Everyone who ever wanted to do something powerful, rich, or different was told “No” a thousand times: “It isn’t done.” “You haven’t got what it takes.” “You’re too intelligent, stupid, short, tall, fat, thin, plain, pretty, to do that.” They will have all manner of reasons and evidence that what they say is true.
They only see what exists now, not the possibility of what may be. That exists in your mind and soul, and you can create its reality. Honor your vision. Go for your goal. What you end up with may be different from what you set out to achieve, but you will live a rich life in pursuit of your quest. The dream may change along the way, as we are changed as we move through life. But dreams given up too early become the restless dissatisfaction of “What if” and “If only.”
When you challenge the norm and take the risk, step outside your comfort zone, you find the happiness that only the brave know. Risk and you may fail. But not to risk is to surely fail. Somewhere there is an author who never put a pen to the page. A champion tennis player who never picked up a racquet. A world-class composer who never picked up a musical instrument. A lover who never asked for a date. It is only though taking risks that you discover who you are.
Laugh at the nay sayers, the sharks who don’t want you to succeed, the tuna who are afraid you will succeed. And when they tell you that you can’t do something, just say, “Oh yeah? Watch this!”
“I am successful and follow my dreams all the way to reality!”
My friend and marketing guru Nancy Marmolejo posted this blog on Facebook which I thoroughly enjoyed and thought it would be perfect to share with you. So I wrote both of them and asked if I could have please have Therese Skelly as my guest blogger, too, and of course they were both delighted.
Surely the scariest place for a business owner is when the phone isn’t ringing, clients are leaving, and you get that dreaded feeling….
“Oh crap….no one is buying these days. What am I going to do?”
We’ve all been there and it just sucks! But there is a way out. In this post I’ll talk about some inner game and mindset strategies. So know you aren’t alone if you have felt this, and that there is a way through it!
And if you are in that space of fear about money, the first thing you must do is to watch your thoughts! Instead of looking at what you don’t have or what you have lost, flip it to notice just how much abundance is all around you. Perhaps you have an abundance of beauty in your yard, or like me feel tremendous wealth in personal relationships. This is where the expression, “What you think about, you bring about” comes in. The more you focus on lack and fear, the more you will see and experience it.
Your number one job during these sometimes scary times is to manage your energy. We’ve all had the experience of having the desperate person in the bar hitting on us or the pushy car sales person who needed your purchase to pay his rent. That ‘vibe’ can be quite repelling, so you must be vigilant about knowing that your good is right around the corner, and stay in the positive mode of what you have that’s working right now.
Whatever you do, STOP the talk about what’s going wrong! If you tend to have those ‘woe is me’ conversations you can set a timer and give yourself a few minutes to get it out of your system, or have your friends lovingly remind you when you go down that road, but whatever you do….don’t feed the fear.
So after you stop the negative conversations, the next piece is to look at the possible gifts in your life even if you can’t see them in the moment. Think of the farmer who has to have faith and trust that the seeds he planted in the ground he so lovingly prepared…will soon take root. That’s the task for you my friend. Finding that level of faith.
So just to restate it, the mindset tricks when you get scared or they aren’t buying are these:
Stay in the day – don’t project into the future with fear
Focus on what’s working and expand that
Find the gifts so you don’t feel like a victim
Refuse to give in to negativity – shift your energy
See the abundance all around you and amplify it
Reach out and let people support/love you
Know there are seasons to everything and this too will change.
Try these tips and let me know how it works for you. Mainly … don’t give up!