196 – July 15
“If you surrender completely to the moments as they pass, you live more richly those moments.”—Anne Morrow Lindbergh
Everyone seems to struggle with balance—how to leave personal problems at home while at work, and leave work problems at work while at home.
Patricia owned a “pet hotel,” a wonderful place for boarding animals. She loved her work, was consumed by her work, ate, drank, slept, breathed her work. Her passion was terrific and made her a great businesswoman, but she had trouble turning it off so she could relax when she was at home. It was beginning to have a negative affect on her relationships with her family.
When we talked about this problem, we saw that she had a habit pattern of always thinking about work. It was her passion, but she needed to turn it off some of the time. She needed to learn to be fully present with her family and enjoy her time with them.
The best way to break an old destructive habit is to replace it with a new constructive one. We decided to designate one room in her house as her imaginary “home office.” Whenever she found herself thinking about work, she had to stop whatever she was doing and go to her “office,” shut the door, and stay there until she was done thinking about it.
It only took about two weeks for Patricia to stop thinking about work when she was at home. She would be cooking dinner, start to think about her office payroll, and have to go to her “home office.” She would be working in the yard, start thinking about hiring another employee, and have to go to her “office.” Her husband would catch her thinking about work and tell her to go to her “office.” It became frustrating to leave her home project and have to go to another room, so she would start catching herself and make herself think about her home and family instead. She began to trust that work was going fine and she didn’t need to obsess about it every moment in order to keep it humming. She began to live in the present moment instead of in her mind. The tension eased from her body, the worry lines disappeared from her face, and she had more upbeat energy when she was at work. She was happier and so was her family. Her income went up, too.
As an actress, I was taught to leave my personal problems at the stage door. As workers, we need to leave our office problems at the home door. Create a space at home and designate it as your “home office.” Then make yourself go there when you start thinking about work. You will train your mind and spirit to be present in the same space as your body. Your mind will be where you are, instead of miles away. Your family will enjoy your presence. And you will enjoy theirs.
“I relax into the flow of life and let my mind, body, and spirit soar.”
Lupe Soto, founder of the LIPS (Ladies International Poker Series) tournaments wwww.lipstour.com, had a special “Secret Mission” during the Ladies event of the World Series of Poker, a couple of years ago. In the weeks leading up to the tournament, she and her sidekick Jaqueline Britton, gathered names and bodies for rehearsals. I was delighted to be included but then hurt my back and couldn’t participate, but I cheered loudly from the sidelines!
Jennifer Winter, a member of our flash mob, shared this with us afterwards, and it is a perfect “Wealthy Spirit” story: “Ladies, a friend of mine wrote this after being inspired by our flash mob and I thought it was lovely”:
Why I Love Flash Mobs
Every time someone on Facebook posts a video of a flash mob, I watch it. And every time I watch it, I start laughing and crying. Why is it that watching this trending phenomenon elicits such joy in me? I had to stop and think about that.
One of the reasons flash mobs cause me joy is because the are lavish, flamboyant, generous and completely unnecessary. Just like Christmas lights and flower gardens, they serve no purpose other than to give pleasure. And, like other unnecessary, lavish, and temporary joys such as ice sculptures in warm rooms and chalk sidewalk art on cloudy days, their value lies in the fact that they are temporary and unnecessary. They say, “I’m here for a moment in time to bring you joy. You don’t need me, you didn’t even know you wanted me, but now that I’m here, you’ll wonder how you ever lived without me.”
Another reason is that I love surprises. Like a rainbow on a dreary day, these mobs burst forth unexpectedly. Henry David Thoreau said, “Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them.” The beneficiaries of a flash mob performance might be going about their daily lives in quiet desperation, but the flash mob breaks through that quiet and forcibly brings the song to them.
The last reason flash mobs bring me such joy is the sheer heterogeneity of the mobs. They are the human spectrum, and while they are surprising crowds with their song, no one cares about their gender, religious or political affiliation, age, physical appearance, ethnicity or any of the other human differences that typically divide us; there are no “isms” in joy.
Only one thing mars my joy as I watch these videos and that is the sight of those in the crowd who just don’t get it. While others are clapping, laughing, singing or dancing along, taking pictures, or holding out their phones to share the joy with a friend, these are the people who continue to shop with hardly a glance at the gift bestowed upon them. These people amaze me. How can they do that? What relevance can that jar of olives have when there is a rainbow in the room? I can only pity them because these are the ones who will “go to the grave with the song still in them.” As for me? Bring it on! My hope is that someday, somewhere I will be going about my ordinary day and all those people around me will turn into that lavish, flamboyant, generous and completely unnecessary thing called a flash mob.