293 – October 20
“If you can’t be a good example, then you’ll just have to be a terrible warning.”—Catherine Aird
The bag lady I might become is never all that far from my mind. She lurks in hidden corners, waiting to catch me unaware. Just when I think I have the money thing licked, there she is, breathing her hot, stale breath on my neck. Sometimes I think I must play poker just to invite her back for tea when she’s been away a little too long. Poker keeps me humble. I fancy myself a sharp card player and I love to play; the luck runs for me and against me at different times regardless. Maybe on my unlucky days I play more poorly. I am sure that on my unlucky days I am poorer.
With high hopes, I head for the poker club, expecting to make a few dollars and have a few laughs. And I get pounded. Nothing works. I can have the best shot at making a perfect hand, like three aces on my first three cards. Then every card after that is a brick, and against all odds, someone with a pair of deuces calls every bet I make and gets two more deuces on the last two cards. Four twos?! Then I get to experience anger and frustration and see how I am truly not kind to others after all. I am selfish, egotistical, and unlucky. It’s not fair! I am “running bad.” (This is a poker term used to describe an execrable flow of bad cards and bad luck.)
Eventually, I run out of money and temper. I drag myself back home and check in on my home office computer. Aha! A fax…from someone who has decided not to take my workshop after all and has written me a note to cancel. Perfect. The bag lady pats me on the shoulder. “There, there, dear,” she commiserates. But she smiles her secret smile that warns me I mustn’t feel too safe here in my nice office in my nice house. I howl at the moon. (Silently, so as not to wake the neighbors.)
The bag lady whispers to me all night long. In the morning, I write her this testimonial, giving her space and voice and time. She fades like a wraith in the morning sun, her mission accomplished. I have been reminded. There but for the grace of God go I. I pray and I meditate. I practice my affirmations. I revise my budget. Somewhere in the process, I recover my good humor and my love for my fellow man.
But not for the guy who got four deuces. Maybe tomorrow.
“I love and accept myself and my fellow man.”
It’s been my experience teaching women business owners how to be more profitable and happy in their businesses for the past 25 years, that women have particular issues relating to money, and a lot of it is subconscious. I’m now calling it the “Jennifer Lawrence Syndrome” – she got paid less than her male co-stars in “American Hustle” because she didn’t fight hard for a bigger paycheck. She said, “If I’m honest with myself, I would be lying if I didn’t say there was an element of wanting to be liked that influenced my decision to close the deal without a real fight. I didn’t want to seem ‘difficult’ or ‘spoiled’.”
One of the things that stops women financially, is that culturally, we aren’t trained to ask for money. Try saying “I love to ask for money” and see how that feels. Yucky, right? Try this one “People love to give me money!” That usually feels good! We want it, but we want it given to us – we don’t want to have to ask. But in the marketplace, we have to ask – for a raise, for a promotion, for the business from a client. And then we have to set our price and ask for that!
You see the problem.
Asking for the business was a tough one for me initially. And then I learned the secret of how to make a great phone call that resulted in business…
Are you now thinking “Ugh. I don’t want to be a telemarketer. I don’t want to call and bother people. I don’t want to have to do SALES!!”??
I know. You want all the advertising you do to work and just have people sign up to buy without having to talk with you. You want people to call YOU and tell you they want to buy your product or service.
In the immortal words of Dr. Phil, “So how’s that working for ya?”
That will work for a few small sales. But for the big-ticket items, they want to talk with you. They need you to coach them through the buying process!
Because marketing doesn’t close the sale.
Publishing books and e-books
You’ll definitely get some interest in your work from this – people will love your content and want more. But then, they may just wait for all the free stuff and never buy anything.
“The money is in the phone!”
ALL MY SALES HAPPEN AFTER THE MARKETING. They happen when I call them after I give a speech, a free teleclass, or meet them at a networking event.
If you skip this step, you’re not only going to leave most of your prospective clients unfulfilled and underserved, but you’ll leave buckets of cash behind you everywhere you go. You may be liked, but you’ll also be broke.
Want to learn how to change your love/hate relationship with money and be both liked and rich? Check out my new book “From Worry to Wealthy: A Woman’s Guide to Financial Success Without the Stress – available at brick-and-mortar and online bookstores everywhere!