161 – June 10
“Today is a gift. That’s why it’s called the present.”–Unknown
We all want wealth in our work, serenity in our spirit, and a balance between the two. Balance seems to be the most elusive quality. We try to do too much. Perhaps it is because there is so much possible. Our unlimited choices of where to go, what to do, how to do it, when to do it, and who to see, have us stretched and stressed. We want to do it all and we want to do it perfectly. “If only I had spent more time with my children!” we cry. Then in the next breath, “If only I had spent more time on my work!” How can we win when every choice we make produces guilt over the choice we didn’t make?
It would help if theatres and restaurants would check all cell-phones and pagers at the door, like they used to check guns in the Old West. Then we would be unavailable. Uninterruptible. Not answerable to anyone or any piece of technology. Then we might relax and enjoy the experience we were having—while we were having it. There are very few conversations in the world that can’t wait two hours. Have a conversation with the person you’re with. That’s why you’re with them and not on the phone. It’s rude to try to do both at the same time.
Let go of the habit of guilt, of “if onlys” and “what ifs.” Let go of the habit of looking at what you’re not doing instead of what you are doing. “Be here now,” Baba Ram Dass said in the ‘60s. It still works. Make the best choice you can each moment. Have confidence in your ability to choose. Then be in the present choice. Live fully in the present moment. Happily. Joyfully.
“Every choice I make is the right choice!”
After Sony’s Columbia Records label cancelled her, Alicia Keys sold 5.5 million copies of her next album for their competitor and won five Grammys. Ashanti was fired by Epic Records and came back to sell 3.3 million copies of her debut album for a rival. Alanis Morrisette was turned down by record company after record company, until Maverick took her on and her debut album Jagged Little Pill sold over 30 million copies worldwide. Bonnie Raitt shot to the top of the charts with two back-to-back albums on Capitol Records that spawned hit singles and won three Grammys apiece—right after her prior record company fired her.
Losing fires up winners. Their response when someone tells them they aren’t good enough, they can’t do it, or they’re a loser, is “Oh, yeah? Watch this!” They use the rejection as an energetic launching pad to redouble their efforts, sharpen their creativity, and prove the naysayers wrong.
So how many times have you tried to achieve your goal? Who among the people you know have tried something 9,999 times without getting results and still kept on trying? What does it take to keep on keeping on? How strong is your vision? How strong is your belief in yourself?
It is, in the end, a self-esteem issue. You have to believe in yourself when no one else does. You have to believe in yourself, or no one else is going to. It helps to bolster your belief when you have a lot of Dolphins swimming in your pod. Dolphins who will sing to you, “You can do it! You can do anything you put your mind to! We love you! We believe in you!” But then it’s up to you to believe what they are telling you. If your pod thinks you are fabulous, you are. If your pod thinks you should go for it, you should. If your pod is full of naysayers—look for a new pod.
And if you have no one else, you have me. I am telling you, you can do it! You wouldn’t have gotten this far in reading this blog if that weren’t true. Are you ready to believe?