Habits of Feeling

Cousins reunion in North Carolina at the Pumpkin Patch

307 – November 3

“You can’t see the sun when you’re crying.”—American Proverb

Feelings run our lives. We go to movies, theater productions, watch television, and listen to music in order to feel the emotions they evince in us. Emotions are the game. We choose “three-hanky” movies, scary horror films, super-spy thrillers, fast-action adventures, romantic fairy tales, racy sex sagas, uplifting spiritual stories, dark, seamy sordid stories of hopelessness and despair. We want to feel the adrenaline rush joy of the lovers, the anxious fear of the threatened heroine, the shrieking mourning of the lost, the epiphanies of the saved. Sometimes we walk out of the theater wishing our lives were really like that. Sometimes we walk out and thank God our lives aren’t like that. But in each case, we go there for the emotional fix, that adrenaline juice cocktail that spices up our lives.

The problem is that we think that it’s the movie that produces our emotions and that it’s our lives that make us feel the way we do. But the opposite is true. We choose the movie, and we choose the life in order to feel particular emotions we’ve gotten into the habit of feeling. That’s why some people choose fulfilling marriages over and over, while others choose emotional firing ranges. We look at the outside circumstances of our lives and then say the circumstances are responsible for the way we feel. But we choose the circumstances in order to feel this particular way, just like we choose a movie. Then habit takes over, and we reproduce the same circumstances and the same emotions over and over, forgetting that we set it up this way.

Want to feel richer? Happier? Calmer? More loved? Each day, sit quietly and think about a past incident in your life when you felt the positive emotion you want to feel again. Remember the exact circumstances, where you were, what the place you were in looked like, what season of the year it was, what smells, sounds, textures were present, who was there with you. Then concentrate on what happened and how you felt, moment by moment. Feel the feelings as if it was all happening again, right now in this moment. This is a technique, called “emotional recall,” that actors use to reproduce emotional states.

Practice feeling the emotions you want in your life. And stop reveling in emotions you don’t want. Don’t tell the abuse story anymore, don’t argue with your spouse over the same old thing, don’t talk about your exhaustion, your resentment, your depression. Don’t go to the horror movie today. Decide to live in the emotional space you desire and your outer circumstances will start to change to match.

Today’s Affirmation:
“I feel happier, richer, and more loved and loving every day!”

Cousins reunion in North Carolina at the Pumpkin Patch
Cousins reunion in North Carolina at the Pumpkin Patch

There are so many emotions I relish recalling – like our family reunion in North Carolina. I loved visiting with my cousins and their families – how our love grows through succeeding generations. Puts a big smile on my face every time. The circle of life and love expands. Think on these things and enjoy your day today.

Practice feeling the emotions you want in your life.

Prosperity is a habit. You have to practice it every day.

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Chellie Campbell is a Financial Stress Reduction® Coach and the author of The Wealthy Spirit, Zero to Zillionaire, and From Worry to Wealthy. She is one of Marci Shimoff's “Happy 100” in her NYT bestseller Happy for No Reason and contributed stories to Jack Canfield’s books You’ve Got to Read This Book! and Life Lessons from Chicken Soup for the Soul. Past president of the LA Chapter NAWBO, she was "Most Inspirational Speaker" by Women in Management and "Speaker of the Year" by the Association of Women Entrepreneurs. She does daily inspirational videos in The Wealthy Spirit Group on Facebook.

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