4 – January 4
“The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind.”—William James
“I don’t care who else wants it, I am winning that basket!” Heather Moreno declared at the networking dinner. A blond, brown-eyed dynamo of a fitness instructor, Heather avowed her intention in no uncertain terms. The gift basket that would be given to a lucky winner that evening was filled with gifts, coupons, and cash worth over six hundred dollars in goods and services.
Sitting next to Heather, I looked over at the basket and said, “Well, I want to win it, too!” She looked at me calmly and declared again, “That’s nice, Chellie, but that basket is mine!” I chuckled and recognized that my intention and commitment to having that prize was not as strong as Heather’s. She was clear as a bell about having that basket and she told everyone at our table that it was hers. In fact, she told everyone at the meeting.
The moment arrived, and Linda Soto, who designed the basket, drew a business card from the bowl. Her eyebrows raised in surprise, she announced, “The winner is—Heather Moreno!” Heather gleefully ran to the podium to collect her prize.
In recent months, I have given a cash prize at the end of my speaking engagements. The last two were won by people who declared out loud to the room that they were going to win. Once I asked a man to draw the winning ticket and as he walked up to the front of the room he said, “You know I’m going to pick my own name and win the money!” And he did.
Have you had this experience? Have you known people who declared the door prize was theirs before the drawing and then actually won it? Watch these people! Look how they do it. See the determination, the confidence, the winning attitude that succeeds. They just know they are going to win.
Winning a door prize is just practice. Like anything else, you learn to create winning experiences in your life by starting small. As the German Philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche said, “He who would learn to fly one day must first learn to stand and walk and run and climb and dance; one cannot fly into flying.” Don’t start with trying to win the lottery, start with winning the next door prize. Declare your abundance and success before they draw the ticket. Visualize getting the job before you go on the next interview, instead of focusing on the fear of being rejected. Confidence sells—fear repels.
“I am a winner! I win often and I win big!”
This affirmation is critically important to your success. You have to think like a winner to be a winner. The thinking comes first, then the actualization.
When I was growing up, my family used to watch the Miss America and Miss Universe pageants. We all selected our favorites and pulled for them through the eliminations. I remember my dad saying, “The girl who is going to win this contest is the one that walks out like she already won this contest.”
He was so right. (Thanks to Dana Erlich for the Rose Queen photo.)
I didn’t get it then. I was always so nervous, hoping that people would like me, like what I was doing. My acting teacher in college yelled at me once, “Don’t be nervous!!” (Not a very helpful instruction.)
Now people watch my speeches and say, “Well, it’s easy for you, Chellie. You’re a natural!”
When I started my Financial Stress Reduction® Workshops, I was nervous meeting people at networking events, and my knees shook whenever I spoke to a group. People visibly withdrew when I introduced myself and quickly excused themselves to go talk with someone else.
As a former musical comedy actress, I knew I was losing my audience. I took a lot of classes, read a lot of books, and made a lot of mistakes before I figured out exactly how to create CONFIDENCE, CHARISMA, and CASH for myself. To think and act like a winner.
Marilyn Monroe knew it. She and her friend, Susan Strasberg, were walking down a New York Street one afternoon and no one was paying them any attention at all. Susan remarked how strange it was that no one noticed the famous movie star Marilyn Monroe was right in their midst. Marilyn turned to her and said, “Oh, you want to see me be her?”
Marilyn straightened up, threw her head back, smiled, and lit up the street with charisma. Suddenly, heads started turning, people pointed and the crowd rushed to surround the star!
I did a free teleclass called “Confidence, Charisma, and Cash” (to listen to the recording, click on the “Downloads” tab at chellie.com). There’s a lot of information in that class on how to get past the nerves and think and act like a winner. The basic formula is: confidence creates charisma and charisma creates cash.
As Dan Zadra said, “Worry is a misuse of imagination.” You can just as easily imagine that you’re fabulous.
A couple of years ago, I saw the movie The Black Swan. Natalie Portman was astonishingly good. Academy Award winning good. But jeez-o-man, was her character, Nina, insecure! Her anxiety showed on her face in every scene. The one part of the movie I couldn’t believe was that Nina would ever get cast in a leading role. People don’t hire you to be the star of the show because you want it badly or because you’re the best technical dancer. “Please pick me, please pick me!” is not the affirmation that works.
They hire you to be the star because you act like you’re a STAR! Not arrogant or conceited, but loving yourself and knowing you’re special and wanting to share the love with the people around you.
Just make the decision today: You are the STAR of your life! You are worthy and you deserve it. Love what you’re doing and who you’re being while you do it. The trick is that others into having fun watching you when you have fun doing it and you welcome them to join in the fun with you. Stars make friends of the audience so they can all party together. They draw you into the love.
No one wants to be invited to worry with you.