The Wealthy Spirit Insider

    Doubts

    Posted on December 16th, 2014 in The Wealthy Spirit by chellie

    Updated insider information by Chellie Campbell, author of “The Wealthy Spirit: Daily Affirmations for Financial Stress Reduction”

     

    350 – December 16

    “We are each the parents of our dreams, so we must support them as best we can until they can support themselves.”—Paul and Sarah Edwards

     

    Two of my favorite singers are Emmylou Harris and Linda Ronstadt, so I eagerly bought their Western Wall: The Tucson Sessions CD as soon as it was available and enjoyed it immensely.

    Robert Hilburn interviewed them for the Los Angeles Times. One of the things that most impressed him was how much they talked about other artists they admired. Generous in praise of each other, Emmylou spoke of having seen Linda for the first time in the late sixties. Harris was living in New York then and trying to get started in her music career. She said, “I thought I was pretty good. But when I heard Linda do this a cappella thing, I thought that no voice could be that beautiful.”

    Hilburn asked if that intimidated her, and I was struck by her reply: “Absolutely. I knew I could never sing like that. It really shook my confidence. So for a while, I thought I’d concentrate on writing songs. Then I went to the Philadelphia Folk Festival, and I heard Joni Mitchell and Bonnie Raitt. I thought, ‘How can I compete as a songwriter?’ because Joni was singing my heart and my soul. Then Bonnie got up there, playing slide guitar and singing great. At that point, I sort of gave up pursuing a career for a short period of time.” I couldn’t believe what I was reading. Emmylou Harris, with one of the most beautiful, angelic voices I’ve ever heard, felt intimidated by the competition?

    Then Linda was asked the same question about the first time she heard Emmylou and she answered: “It was really a crisis for me. I felt she was doing (country rock) much better than I was. She was so much farther down the road. It was a time where I had to say I can either let this make me feel really terrible and I won’t get to enjoy the music or I could accept it as really great and enjoy it. And that’s the choice I made. And it was a great lesson, because music isn’t a horse race and you can’t have it be a competition….There’s room for us all, and we all have our own stories.”

    This interview was amazing to me. Here they were, two wonderful, brilliantly talented, successful musicians—and they were talking about their feelings of inadequacy! I had forgotten that incredible people have doubts, too. Sometimes I think I’m the only one who thinks like that. Who do I think I am to be writing a book? I’m not as funny as Annie Lamott, I’m not a financial planner like Suze Orman; I’m not as good at sales as Zig Ziglar….Thanks, Linda, for reminding me: There’s room for us all, and we all have our own stories. I’ll be the best me I know how.

    Today’s Affirmation: “I am loved and acknowledged for my unique and wonderful talents!”

    I wonder if this feeling of being “not good enough” is something innate or if it’s learned– the old “nurture or nature” question. We just don’t know exactly how it happens. This article in the paper really helped me the day I read it, because I was struggling with getting my book finished. I was getting close to the finish line and beginning to doubt myself.

    Isn’t it comforting to know that others—even talented, successful celebrities that we admire—feel the same way sometimes?

    Soon afterward, a student of mine Donna called me the day after class.  Intelligent and warm, I enjoyed meeting her and was glad she enrolled in my financial workshop.  She worked selling advertising for a small publication and wanted to increase her sales and income.  I wondered why she seemed a bit anxious that first night as each participant introduced themselves.  Now on the phone, she explained.

    “Last night, listening to the other people talk about their goals, I didn’t feel I belonged in the group.  I felt their goals were so much higher than mine; that they were smarter, better, more experienced—more whatever—than me.

    “But I had a realization as I walked down the hill to my car.  When I arrived for your class, I had parked at the bottom of the hill, thinking that others would have gotten there first and taken all the convenient parking spaces.  But I was the first to arrive!  Why did I assume that others would be there before me?  Why did I park at the bottom and walk up that steep hill without even trying to see if I could park at the top?

    “I saw that this was a metaphor of how I have been living my life.  I have assumed that others will take the top spots, so I automatically settle for the inconvenient place, the lesser place—and lesser income, too.  But now that I’ve seen it, I’m going to stop it.  I will find my space at the top of the hill from now on.”

    Do you park at the bottom of hills?  Do you take a back seat, let others do the talking, let others get the clients, the sales, and the cash?  Who told you to do that?  Who told you that you had to go last?  The little child inside us needs nurturing and support as much as the little child in our arms.  As Marianne Williamson said, “Your playing small doesn’t serve the world.” We don’t encourage others to shine when we hide our own light.  Let us strive to be the best we can be, and empower others to do the same.  Let us all look for the top of the hill.  And if today, you don’t get the premium space, oh well, there’s another day tomorrow.  We can fail sometimes and be last sometimes.  But we don’t have to settle for last as our default position every time.  At least drive up the hill and look around.  You may find you’re the first one up there after all.

    Whatever work you do, you have to fight inner demons as well as the outer ones.  You have to stay focused on positive thoughts in order to have positive outcomes.  The first positive is you.  You are the only you on the planet and there are people out there just praying for you to show up.  They want what you have to give and will pay you richly for it.  But you have to reach out and ask.  To do that you need confidence in your self-worth, which is what it takes to produce your net-worth.  You are worthy, worthwhile and worth it!  You wouldn’t be reading this if you weren’t.  You can do anything you want.  Fill your mind with positive statements, repeat affirmations, listen to encouraging audio tapes, read enlightening books.

    See you at the top of the hill.

    For Your Children

    Posted on December 15th, 2014 in The Wealthy Spirit by chellie

    “Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.”—Phyllis Diller

    349-December 15

    “I have no trouble selling someone else’s products or services, I just have trouble selling my own!” Joan despaired. A chorus of agreement rumbled through the class

     

    349-December 15

    .

    “I used to be much more motivated when I had children,” she went on. “I knew I had to make a living to support them. I was willing to do whatever it took to make that happen. But now the kids are grown, I have enough money to get by, but I want more. But I just can’t seem to make the calls and do the work.”

    An idea came to me: “I want you to get four pictures of yourself,” I said. “One picture of you as a baby, one from third grade, one from high school and one from college. Put these pictures on the wall above your desk: These are the children you’re working for now. They all still exist in you and deserve your best efforts. Nurture them, care for them, and love them. Work to buy them things to enjoy, work to make them happy. They deserve ‘above and beyond money,’ not just ‘getting by money.’ And you deserve it, too!”

    I’ve met many women who work easily “on behalf of the children.” It makes them feel less selfish. Usually these same people they can promote and sell someone else’s products or services much better than their own. To promote their own feels too much like bragging. It’s the “good girl” syndrome: Don’t brag, don’t be forward, be nurturing, be giving, be nice. If this was your upbringing, you’re going to have to work to get over it. Or use it: It’s not bragging if your service can really help the other person—it’s your duty to them to convince them to buy the service that will make their life better. It’s perfectly okay if you benefit, too, and make a profit! If you don’t make a profit, you’ll be out of business, and then you can’t help anyone any more.

    See how this works? It’s called “re-framing” in psychology circles. Give yourself good, positive reasons to be successful, and help people at the same time. You don’t have to choose. You can do both.

    Today’s Affirmation: “My wonderful contributions flow into the Universe and great wealth flows back to me.”

    “Oh, I need your products!” said my friend, Sarah, to the woman at the networking meeting who was a skin-care representative. “Please call me tomorrow morning so I can talk with you about what I need to buy.”

    Then she met a woman who did graphic design. “Oh, I need graphic design for my new flyers and my web site, too!” she exclaimed. “Please call me tomorrow morning so you can help me decide what I need to buy.”

    Neither woman called the next morning. In fact, they never called.

    What’s up with that?? Aren’t they networking to get more clients for their business? And here was a client with money who wanted to buy – why wouldn’t they call her?

    Sarah’s experience wasn’t the only one. Throughout my networking career, I heard stories like these over and over again.

    Once I called a woman who had been a regular at a networking meeting and stopped coming. When I called and asked her why, she said the group didn’t work for her – she never got any business from it.

    “How many meetings did you go to?” I asked.

    “I went to one every month,” she replied. (Only one?)

    “Did you call people after the meeting?” I inquired.

    “No,” she said. “If they wanted my services, they would call me.”

    I knew she wouldn’t be in business for long.

    Let me give you a tip: They aren’t going to call you.

    Why? Because they have a life, they have priorities, they need clients themselves, they have another appointment, it’s their mother’s birthday, they have to wash their hair. You and your stuff are way down at the bottom of their priority list. Even if what you have is what they most need and close to the top of their list, they aren’t going to call you. They have fears. They have objections: You’re going to charge too much, they really should remodel their house first, it’s their daughter’s birthday tomorrow, maybe you aren’t really the best one for the project, it’s too far to drive, they’d have to convince their Significant Other and that might mean an argument and that would lead to problems and oh it’s just easier to forget the whole thing…

    And you don’t call them, because you don’t want to hear all their objections. You want to hear “Yes!” so much! But not as much as you are afraid of hearing “No.”

    So most small business owners continue to network and not get the results they want, and make a lot less money than they deserve.

    If you have any struggles around money these days, obviously, you are not alone. The whole world has been affected by the financial debacle of the real estate bubble. The financial hardships I see are even harder on women, who still only make 77 cents to a man’s dollar, largely because women still feel badly about “asking for money”. But in the marketplace, we must ask to be paid for our services!

    Women have a lot of negative emotional baggage around that request, and so often, women don’t ask for what they are worth and settle for less than they should expect. Did you know that men are 8 times more likely to negotiate their starting salary than a woman? And if she settles for $25,000 per year and he negotiates $30,000, over the next 30 years (with the same percentage raises, bonuses, etc.) he will have made over $500,000 more than she!

    In the book “Women Don’t Ask”, the authors told of studies comparing men and women and their ability to negotiate:

    • Men think of negotiating as “winning a ballgame”
    • Women think of negotiating as “going to the dentist”
    • When men negotiate, they get paid approximately 30% more than women
    • By failing to negotiate their starting salary, a person will lose $500,000 by age 60

    I understand it – I think it’s partly biological – a woman needs to be able to put others first in order to raise children. This giving quality makes us great care-givers, nurturers, teachers, and workers in the helping professions. And so we naturally think of others and the stress they might have in paying us. So we make allowances, reduce our rate, and even give it away for free. We wait for people to call us because we don’t want to “bother” them. Even when they ask us to call them!

    We have to change our thinking and our behavior with money. Because the real money we lose is the money we fail to earn.

    Little Wins

    Posted on December 13th, 2014 in The Wealthy Spirit by chellie

    Updated insider information by Chellie Campbell, author of “The Wealthy Spirit: Daily Affirmations for Financial Stress Reduction”

     

    347 – December 13

    “Celebrate what you want to see more of.”—Thomas J. Peters

     

    My mother often got nervous if I got excited about something. I remember once having met a nice young man and hoping that he would call. He did. After I hung up the phone, I danced into the living room and crowed, “Steven asked me out—we have a date for tomorrow night! I’m so happy!” Mother visibly cringed and said, “Now, honey, don’t get your hopes up.”

    Ouch! This really put a damper on my mood. She was afraid for me to expect or want anything for fear it might not turn out the way I wanted and then I’d be disappointed. But I was just happy over the little win—I wanted him to call and he did. I wanted him to ask me out and he did. I wanted to celebrate the wins I got—I didn’t know what was going to happen on the date. Maybe it would be a win and maybe it wouldn’t. That took away nothing from the win today.

    Some people never want to get excited so that they won’t get depressed if it doesn’t work out. But the trap they set up for themselves is that they talk themselves out of feeling anything other than caution. When we talk ourselves out of emotion and circumvent our feelings, it becomes a habit that deadens us to the world and each other. I think that’s why we revere actors so much—they show so much real emotion. Most people don’t. They keep a “stiff upper lip” and die inside. Once I said enthusiastically to a man, “This is stupendous!” He looked at me quizzically and said, “I never use words like stupendous. Nothing seems to rate that much excitement to me.” How sad! Someone in his past must have told him that it wasn’t okay to get excited.

    Pick some exciting words and use them! It’s fabulous, terrific, stupendous, extraordinary, superior, amazing, astounding! Write in exclamation points! Celebrate your little wins and enjoy them. You earned it! And your happiness will infect everyone around you, too.

    Today’s Affirmation: “I celebrate all my stupendous wins every day!”

    I still celebrate the little wins. If you have to wait for the big win, you’re just not going to be very happy in the meantime, are you? I want to be happy all the time, every day!

    Marci Shimoff, wrote the NY Times bestselling book “Happy for No Reason”. In her travels as a speaker and author of several “Chicken Soup for the Soul” books, she came across very happy people and very miserable people, and their happiness quotient didn’t seem to have much to do with their circumstances.

    She decided to research happiness, asking everyone she met, “Who’s the happiest person you know?” Usually, the first person they’d mention would be someone fabulously successful, but then they’d stop and say they weren’t “really happy.” She kept searching and interviewing people. She discovered habits that happy people share and determined to write a book to show people how to consciously develop lasting happiness.

    I was honored that she chose me as one of her “Happy 100”, and included one of my stories in her book. How she found me is quite a serendipitous chain-of-events story:

    Marci’s co-author of her book, Carol Kline, had also helped write Jack Canfield and Gay Hendricks’ book “You’ve Got to Read This Book: 55 People Tell the Story of the Book That Changed Their Life”. I had been invited to submit a story for that book, and it was chosen for publication.

    As Carol and I worked together, we became friends and had great fun sharing ideas and stories with each other. One day, I asked her how I had gotten an invitation to write a story for the book. I knew Jack slightly, but many people knew him, so I wasn’t sure he had thought of me for this.  Carol said she didn’t know, but she’d ask and find out.

    She called me back, laughing. Someone in Jack’s office was reading another book I was profiled in – “How to Run Your Business Like a Girl” by Elizabeth Cogswell Baskin. They called Elizabeth to ask her to submit a story, and Elizabeth said, “Have you asked Chellie? You have to ask Chellie for a story!” And that’s how I got my invitation.

    But how had I gotten profiled in Elizabeth’s book, you might ask? Elizabeth had gotten an early copy of “The Wealthy Spirit” and called to introduce herself and interview me for her book. See how it works? There aren’t six degrees of separation any more. I think we’re down to two or three!

    The point is, I was chosen to be a role model for happiness because I celebrate little wins. Want to be happier? Find reasons to be happy right now, where you sit, in whatever circumstances you find yourself. Happy without regard to circumstances, but because you’ve chosen to be. You can always find evidence to back up whatever position you choose to hold.

    So today, choose happiness. On a scale of 1-10, 10 being best, how happy are you?

    Bon Jovi

    Posted on December 12th, 2014 in The Wealthy Spirit by chellie

    Updated insider information by Chellie Campbell, author of “The Wealthy Spirit: Daily Affirmations for Financial Stress Reduction”

     

    346 – December 12

    “Age is something that doesn’t matter. Unless you are a cheese.”—Billie Burke

     

    Why does the music business target only teenagers and twenty-somethings? As a middle-aged female, I’m a member of what seems to be the “despised demographic”—the one nobody cares about. Although youth and beauty are lovely qualities, they don’t hold a candle to the ones developed later in life: self-esteem, wisdom, success, depth, and happiness. We still have passion and excitement, and money, too! The Screen Actors Guild reported that Americans over the age of fifty own 77 percent of all financial assets, account for 40 percent of total consumer demand, and control a net worth of nearly $7 trillion. Don’t you think someone in the music business ought to sit up and take notice of that?

    Because I became a Bon Jovi fan at age fifty-two. It took me by surprise. I happened across them on a segment of Behind the Music on VH1 and was struck by the band’s passion and charisma. Joy of life and living throbbed through their music. I watched the entire show, and before long, I was hooked.

    The next day, I bought their greatest hits album and sang along with it for the rest of the week. Then I bought all their other albums and a video and signed up for their fan club.

    I admit I struggled with myself at first. We don’t break out of boxes without interior battles. I’m a grown woman; I own my own business. I’m not a young chicky to be seduced by a heavy metal band. I didn’t think I fit the hard-rock profile at all. I loved Country, Bach, Broadway, and the Beatles. But I broke out of my music box and found a passion for a hard rock band.

    Am I having a mid-life crisis? Have I lost some part of my sanity? Well, maybe I have. But if so, then I recommend it. Lose your sanity; your self-descriptions that keep you locked in your current self, making each day a replay of the last. Life is a banquet; it’s rich spread lies before you in glorious diversity. You may like fried chicken, but if you don’t keep exploring, you may never discover the chicken curry, chicken cacciatore, or Chicken Kiev. White rice is wonderful, but if you stop there, you miss the shrimp fried rice, the rice pilaf, the curried rice, the basmati rice. There’s a world of delightful tastes beyond what you know. Don’t let anyone tell you you’re too old to enjoy it.

    Break out of your music box today. Join another party; feast at another banquet. Eat up life. Who cares if it’s young, or new, or “just not you”? Your capacity for joyful experience is immense, but you have to take it out of the box and use it.

    Who knows?  Maybe I’ll see you at the next Bon Jovi concert…

    Today’s Affirmation: “I’m glad to be alive and enjoying the rich music of life!”

    Beyond the music, as I have followed Bon Jovi, I have been most impressed by Jon Bon Jovi’s business acumen. When I watched a documentary about a recent tour, Jon was on the phone talking to some high level investors about purchasing a football team. Brushing aside his star status as a rock star, he said, “I’m the CEO of a multi-million dollar corporation that’s been running a brand for 25 years.” Whoa. I hadn’t quite looked at him that way before.

    Let that be a lesson to all artists who want to succeed in the entertainment business. Back in my acting days, that lesson was impressed upon me by an old character actor who was on a Screen Actors Guild committee with me. He told me quite succinctly that “show” is an adjective modifying the noun “business”. Never forgot that!

    I saw a video recently of some 8 or 9-year-old boy who, when asked who his favorite band was, enthusiastically replied, “Bon Jovi!” The brand of the band is working strong, attracting new customers in new demographics! Gotta love it.

    What do you enjoy that’s a little outside your box?

    Posted on December 11th, 2014 in The Wealthy Spirit by chellie

    angry man pointing at paperJust Say “No” to Scott Rudin

    I’m posting this special blog today because my old boss, Scott Rudin, is much in the news with the release of Sony executives’ emails because of their recent hacking. I was Scott Rudin’s assistant way back in 1981, when he was the new “boy genius” in Hollywood. Rudin now holds the record for firing assistants, but amazingly I escaped that fate (I imagine because he hadn’t fully grown into that persona yet. But the seeds were there.)

    Here’s the piece I wrote about him in “The Wealthy Spirit” followed by a new bit I wrote for “From Worry to Wealthy” (available for pre-order now):

    “You can say no and smile only when you have a bigger yes burning inside of you.”—Unknown

    I once worked for two titans of the motion picture industry, Edgar Scherick and Scott Rudin. Edgar was the older, more experienced mogul and Scott was the up-and-coming young counterpart. At the time, I was pursuing a career behind the camera in the motion picture industry and was Edgar’s Executive Assistant.

    One day, they fired the office gofer (you know, “go fer” this and “go fer” that). They weren’t going to hire a new one, and the rest of us in the office were anxious about who was going to get the schlepping assignments from then on.

    I decided that it wasn’t going to be me. I was reading a great book at the time, When I Say “No” I Feel Guilty by Manuel Smith. Smith gave wonderful tools for being more assertive and less of a people-pleaser. I knew that if I started doing some of the gofer’s tasks, I would be doomed to that position and respect for me would disappear along with any dreams of advancement. I realized that if I was asked to do this work and refused, I might get fired. But if the price of working there was that I had to be in the lowest dead-end job, then I shouldn’t be there anyway.

     

    Several days later, Scott and Edgar had a meeting at MGM. Scott always drove the two of them to these meetings, and the gofer would pick up Edgar after the meeting and take him to his next appointment. Edgar knew someone new had to be given this assignment, but didn’t choose anyone. He just walked out of the office saying, “Somebody’s going to have to pick me up at five o’clock at MGM.” The entire staff froze.

    Scott knew then that he had to pick the new gofer. He turned around, saw me and said, “Chellie, pick Edgar up at five o’clock at MGM.”

    My heart pounding, my throat dry, I looked him straight in the eye and said, “No.” Nothing else, just “no.” (The book said not to give your reasons for saying no, or the conversation would degenerate into an argument over the validity of your reasons.)

    He was totally taken aback by this and laughed. He said, “You have to! Pick Edgar up at 5:00!”

    I said, “No” again. (Smith calls this technique “broken record”—just repeat your position.)

    He stared at me for a long moment. I could see the wheels turning in his mind. I held my breath. Was I going to be fired?

    Then Scott turned to the young man seated near him and said, “Fine. Then you do it.” He said, “Okay.” And became the office gofer from then on.

    We have more power of “no” than we know. Two-year-olds know this instinctively, but some adults have forgotten. Find a two-year-old and remember. Then practice.

    Today’s Affirmation: “I make choices that make me happy.”

    Exerpt from “From Worry to Wealthy: A Woman’s Guide to Financial Success Without the Stress”: 

    Another Reason to Say “No” – Wrong Job, Bad Boss, Bad Clients

    Back in the 80s, I worked for Edgar Scherick and Scott Rudin, who was rather the “boy wonder” in his early 20s then. He has since come a very long way up to the top of the Hollywood food chain. Producer of many top-of-the-line films including The Hours, The Addams Family, The Queen, and more recently The Social Network, he has won many honors, including the Academy Award for Best Picture for No Country for Old Men.

    He was also awarded the dubious title of one of “New York’s Worst Bosses” on gawker.com in 2007 and was profiled in a Wall Street Journal article entitled “Boss-Zilla”. Shudder. One account mentions he once went through 250 assistants in one year (although he claimed he could only count 119) – he was reputed to be the model for the evil producer played by Kevin Spacey in Swimming with Sharks. (I wrote a story about telling Scott “no”, that I wouldn’t run an errand for him. A reader sent me a note saying, “Chellie, you bad-ass! You said ‘no’ to Scott Rudin. That must be on the bucket list of thousands of assistants.”)

    Oh, dear. He wasn’t quite that bad when I worked for him—I’m sure it was fortunate for me that he was in New York most of the time. Actually, I liked and admired him—he was brilliant, creative and quick, and we got along.

    Edgar was the scary one to me. Unlike Scott, he was there every day. He would scream at the top of his lungs and turn red in the face. Once he yelled at a production assistant who hadn’t accomplished a task, jumped up on my desk and pounded the ceiling until plaster rained down on the three of us!

    Picture me as a small animal who freezes in place because motion attracts the predator. When he jumped off the table and looked at me, I just said, “So do you want to call Freddie Fields now?” They told me later he said I was “unflappable.” Nope, frozen stiff is what I was, but redirection was a tool I found handy for survival.

    I had taken the job with Scott because I wanted to be a producer’s assistant. I figured I would get an overview of all the jobs in the film industry and then I could decide if there was a job I wanted to do on the other side of the camera. But the two years I spent with Scott and Edgar convinced me that it was no place for me. There was just too much yelling. I felt I’d have to become used to that, or become a screamer myself, and I just didn’t have it in me to do either. I remember the day I opened up the want ads and prayed, “Please God, please—help me find a nice little bookkeeping job again with nice, normal people.”

    And soon enough, off I went. Pretty good move, too, as it turned out. It was there that I developed my Financial Stress Reduction® Workshops. I love my life!

    And there’s no yelling.

    Channel KGOD

    Posted on December 11th, 2014 in The Wealthy Spirit by chellie

    Updated insider information by Chellie Campbell, author of “The Wealthy Spirit: Daily Affirmations for Financial Stress Reduction”

     

    345 – December 11

    “Two hundred seventy-eight channels and there’s nothing on. Time to turn on the God channel.”—Lisa Morrice

     

    It’s hard for any one of those two hundred seventy-eight channels to hold my attention for long. I zip by them with my trusty remote, a kaleidoscope of whirling colors and images: Arctic explorers in a blinding snowstorm, “snow” on a channel that doesn’t come through, thoroughfares in downtown London, a Dove soap commercial (I watch to see their current trend; maybe I could do another commercial for them), sitcom, sitcom, cartoon, no, no, zip, zip, zip.

    I stop at James Lipton interviewing Neil Simon on Inside the Actors Studio. I’ve seen it but I watch it again, because Neil makes me laugh. Bravo, Bravo. Commercial, zip, a gorgeous hunk throws another gorgeous hunk to the wrestling mat—ouch!—zip, a panting girl suddenly screams, a knife, blood—ick—zip! Zen music: I relax. The men and women on the Korean channel are gorgeous in their ancient regalia, but I don’t speak Korean and it’s subtitled in another oriental language. Zip.

    A couple of religious channels, but the big hair is pink and the mascara’s running and I don’t think this is the God channel I’m looking for. Zip. Roy Dupuis, playing Michael on La Femme Nikita. Thud. Now there’s a God. I tape this to drool over later.

    VH1 has the “whatever happened to” stories and they’re fun but I zip by after I find out David Cassidy is happy now. I’m glad. I met his mom once, Shirley Jones. Lisa Morrice and I had a singing gig at The Oaks spa in Ojai and I was singing my solo, Desperado, at dinner just as Shirley walked in with her husband, Marty Ingles. Perfect. The best soprano in the world walks in while I’m singing my toughest song…she was very gracious and complimented both of us. (I’m eternally grateful for that kindness, Shirley.)

    Out of the depth of my reminiscent dream, a sudden thought freezes the remote in my hand.

    I’ve had adventures. Why am I watching other people on television talk about their adventures? I need to go out and have more adventures of my own! And if I think I ever want to be on television myself, I’d better write about my adventures. Write. I can’t watch one more person, real or fictional, talk about the life I want to be leading. I need to lead it.

    Channel KGOD has broken through. “This is the day that the Lord hath made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it.” I smile. I get up. I go. I write. Who knows? If I play my cards right, I may get to meet Roy Dupuis.

    Today’s Affirmation: “I rejoice and am glad in the adventures of my day today!”

    I saw a funny T-shirt in a catalogue that really tickled me: “I have OCD and ADD. That means I have to be perfect but not for very long.”

    Well, this page is a clear illustration of my ADD tendencies. Hee. I admit I still love channel surfing and watching bits of lots of programs. When I’m home and there are two shows I want to see that are on at the same time, I DVR one of them on the TV in my bedroom and watch the other one live in the kitchen.

    It was a dangerous step for me to get a DVR. There are so many programs and I begin to feel trapped by my “obligatory TV”! If I carved out time to watch everything I thought was interesting, you’d never see me again. I’d turn into one of those pod people from “The Matrix”…

    I admit to being a singing competition junkie – all of them: The VoiceAmerican Idol, X Factor…reminds me of my singing audition days as an actress, and I love watching those talented kids hone their skills as they compete. Glee gets a little silly but all those kids can sing! And I still get drawn in to Survivor and all the shifting alliances. Love Game of Thrones (read all the books) – I’ve always been a fan of costume dramas.  I can watch the History or Science Channels anytime and find something interesting, and poker wherever I find it on the game channel or the World Series of Poker on ESPN. Of course I get all the premium channels so can always find a good movie…

    So what do you like to watch? And how do you keep from getting lost in all of that?

    Own a Nightclub

    Posted on December 10th, 2014 in The Wealthy Spirit by chellie

    Updated insider information by Chellie Campbell, author of “The Wealthy Spirit: Daily Affirmations for Financial Stress Reduction”

     

    344 – December 10

    “I wanted so badly to study ballet. But it was really all about wearing the tutu.”—Elle MacPherson

     

    “I want to own a nightclub!” crowed Laura. Middle-aged and with a sunny personality, Laura lit up every room she walked in to with her positive energy. She had a million-watt smile and a can-do attitude and I knew she could do anything she wanted to do.

    “What interests you about owning a nightclub?” I asked. Laura was currently working as a massage therapist, and nightclub ownership looked like a very different career step.

    “I just love to dance!” she replied. “I go dancing just about every night. I love the music and the people I meet and everything about it.”

    “Have you ever worked in a nightclub?” I pursued.

    “No.”

    Immediately, I went in to “Goal Getting” mode: “I recommend that you get a job in a nightclub so you can learn what it takes to run one successfully. You need to learn about the financing, marketing, promotion, food and beverage, hiring acts or DJs, etc. You can take some classes at the local community college, too. Ask the owner of the nightclubs you go to if they will give you some advice….”

    There were thunderclouds racing across Laura’s face. I saw the “Yeah, but” before it issued from her mouth. Oh, resistance, you drag your feet across all our lives….

    “I don’t want to get a job in a nightclub,” Laura protested. “I just want to own it, and go there and have fun!”

    “Well, if you don’t learn how to run it, you probably won’t own it for long!” I exclaimed.

    Laura stopped and looked at me pityingly. “Chellie,” she said, “I don’t really want to own a nightclub. I just want to have the fantasy of owning a nightclub.”

    We stared at each other for a moment…then we cracked up laughing. “Okay!” I said. “The Fantasy Island nightclub is yours!”

     

    Fantasies add a lot of pleasure to our lives. They’re dream diversions, escapes from everyday realities, and playgrounds for our minds. Enjoy them, and let others enjoy them, too. We don’t have to take action on all of them. Let someone else do the ownership thing. Go dancing. In a tutu. Dream on.

    Today’s Affirmation: “I am dancing in the sunlight and moonlight of my life!”

    I remember this incident like it was yesterday, even though it was about 15 years ago. It was pretty funny at the time, and still puts a smile on my face. There is a lot of room in our consciousness for fantasy lives – things we can dream about without having to actually do the hard work of trying to manifest! Maria Nemeth, in her book “The Energy of Money” talks about there being a metaphysical reality and a physical reality, with a border in between them. She said lots of people are having trouble at the border!

    Have fun with your dreams, the fun fantasies that make you smile, where you try on the life of a rock star, a movie mogul, or president of the United States. When one of those dreams strikes your fancy so hard that you’re willing to work to achieve them, create an action plan and then get to work. If your goal is juicy enough, just working on achieving it will also be juicy! And I think that’s the point of it all – choose goals that make life fun just working to achieve it.

    What makes today juicy for you?

    The Color Purple

    Posted on December 9th, 2014 in The Wealthy Spirit by chellie

    Updated insider information by Chellie Campbell, author of “The Wealthy Spirit: Daily Affirmations for Financial Stress Reduction”

     

    342 – December 8

    “Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.”—Ambrose Bierce

     

    We rub up against each other the wrong ways sometimes. Like trying to force a jigsaw puzzle piece into the wrong slot, we try to make others fit into our picture. What we mean to create gets lost, misunderstood. Fights erupt, grudges carried, friendships broken. We listen but do not hear, for our understanding is blocked by the stone walls of our own perception.

    Linda, my friend, fellow writer and proposal coach, called today to offer help with my book proposal. I had gotten a very positive response from a publisher and was waiting to hear whether they were going to make an offer to buy it. Linda thought that we could spend additional time and energy polishing the proposal and the combination of our positive focus and work would help the project along. I thought she was telling me the proposal wasn’t good enough yet and I’d better do some more work on it or it wasn’t going to sell. To say she didn’t find me in a receptive mood is a rather gross understatement.

    “The proposal is fine just as it is!” I exclaimed. “It doesn’t need to be redone a fourth time! One of these publishers is going to buy it soon and I don’t have to polish it again!” Linda quickly backpedaled, tried to explain; I wasn’t buying it. Here was Linda, trying to help, and I bit her nose off. I felt she was telling me my book hadn’t been picked up because the proposal wasn’t good enough. Playing the waiting game while trying to keep my thoughts positive was stretching my fragile nerves tauter than I realized. I’m not proud of my response. St. Chellie would never have responded this way.

    We hung up the phone quickly, but both of us sat with the negative energy and fought mental battles. She wrote me a letter, I wrote this page; I called her back. We explained our intentions, our feelings, our love, mutual admiration, and respect. Our friendship held, peace and equanimity restored.

    Sometimes our words belie our intentions. “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you,” doesn’t always work. What they want done isn’t always the same as what we want done. As an actress, I watched directors at work—some yelled at all the actors; some coddled all the actors. But the best directors yelled at the ones that needed yelling at, coddled the ones that needed more confidence, left alone the ones who needed to work things out alone. Linda is a fabulous writer and in her meticulous attention to detail produces work much closer to perfection than I. I rush to completion, let the details fall where they may, and get done faster. They are different styles of work and behavior, and we each have much to gain from the other.

    When her blue meets my red, a clash may occur, but if we keep talking, reaching for understanding with compassion and love, we create purple.

    Today’s Affirmation: “I enrich my life with wonderful friendships in rainbow colors.”

     

    Anger is actually a good tool to have in your toolbox. I know because for years I didn’t have it. In my family growing up, it just wasn’t okay to be ill-tempered, out-of-sorts, or angry. If you were, you were sent to your room to collect yourself. This was really great for a peaceful, conflict-free atmosphere at home most of the time. However, when I needed to be angry or fight back out in the world, I was missing that ability, having squelched angry feelings for so many years. Like when my husband yelled at me, I froze. Yelling scared me – I wasn’t used to it. I just wanted to tell him “Go to your room and settle down!” Not really effective.

    After my divorce, bit by bit I got reaquainted with my anger. I watched other people who had a healthy sense of balance and who were lovely, kind, and even-tempered most of the time but who could get their dander up and draw the line in the sand and yell back at someone at appropriate moments. It was a skill I needed to learn, so I studied it. You see, if you don’t have the potential for anger, you will often get pushed too far, compromise your values to keep the peace, and otherwise behave as a tuna.

    Playing poker helped me with this. Nothing can make you more ill-tempered than losing money, especially when other people are winning your money and lording it over you. Argh. One night, a woman (I’ll call her Susie) was drinking heavily, winning a lot of pots, and laughing and loudly making fun of everyone else, cackling that they were bad players and deserved to lose, etc. My patience was wearing thin when she won yet another pot against a lovely older gentleman who she then raked over the coals, calling him a stupid player.  She was standing up and laughing, and sitting next to her, I said, “Come on, Susie, settle down and sit back down.”

    “Don’t tell me what to do, you freaking bitch!” she screamed.

    That was it for me. I stood up, looked her dead in the eye, and yelled back even louder, “I’m not a freaking bitch – you’re a freaking bitch!”

    Whoa! That completely shocked her. The floorman came running over and got between us and suggested there was a seat in another game if one of us would like to move. I stood my ground. I was really mad! And she left to go to the other game.

    As I sat back down, the other players at my table smiled at me and applauded. Hee.

    After that, when another player would snipe at me or cause a problem at the table, the other players would shush him and say, “Don’t make the redhead mad.”

    So anger is a tool in my box now. I don’t take it out often, but I’m glad to know it’s there if I need it.

    Take Your Stand

    Posted on December 8th, 2014 in The Wealthy Spirit by chellie

    Updated insider information by Chellie Campbell, author of “The Wealthy Spirit: Daily Affirmations for Financial Stress Reduction”

     

    343 – December 9

    “Honest criticism is hard to take, especially from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance or a stranger.”—Franklin P. Jones

     

    At lunch with a group of friends, we were dreaming about the big time. We wanted to fill more classrooms, write bestsellers, and help more people with our heart-felt work. We dreamed of appearing on Oprah, Rosie, Sally, Montel, Charlie, Today, Good Morning America, Good Night Whatever. Of sharing the lessons we had learned through difficult, personal traumas so that others might take a shorter road to success and happiness. And of course, we hoped to be listened to, acknowledged, photographed, loved. We smiled at the thought of how our lives would be perked up, new, improved, bigger, better, richer, more.

    Then, because we are a thoughtful, balanced group, we talked about the down side of the big picture, of even fifteen minutes of fame. The long hours, the responsibilities, life on the road in a series of hotels, airports, endless smiling, and talking with countless strangers. And criticism—in print! I thought of all the terrible reviews I had read in the papers and how they must have hurt the people they criticized. As my friend Ann Hancock says, they’re called critics, not praisers. I saw the sacrifice that is involved in going wide with your dream.

    “Oh, I don’t like that part at all,” I gulped. “Can’t I just have the good stuff?”

    That’s when Rhonda Britten, author of Fearless Living: Live Without Excuses and Love Without Regret who had been listening to the discussion, nailed me. “You have to be willing to pay the price,” she said, “or your fear of it will stop you from getting it. To take a stand in the world, you have to be willing to be loved that much—and hated that much.”

    So I take the risk; I make my stand. Maybe my message will reach thousands—or maybe only a few. Armed with the power to say no, if I remember to stay in the balance of what I have written in these pages, I will retain control over my life. I will march to the drummer I hear, with faith that there will be others who hear it, too.

    Stand for what you believe. Do your work in the world, as wide as your purpose will allow. Your People will find you. There will be praisers who love you, and you may learn something from the critics. Faith, courage and your mission will sustain you. Everything else will fall away.

    Success is not a place you get to—it’s a state you live in. If you enjoy the process, instead of being attached the result, you will be a success every day of your life.

    Today’s Affirmation: “I enjoy my process and live in the state of success every day!”

     

    Rhonda and I formed our writers group, “Wild Women Writers” or “W3″ for short, back in 1998 when we both attended Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen’s weekend seminar “How to Build Your Speaking and Writing Empire”. We were both speakers and workshop leaders and were writing our first books. We had met at the WRS networking group before, so when Jack said, “You’ve got to create a writers group for support, encouragement, and feedback” I went up to her and asked her if she wanted to do that with me. We met for lunch and subsequently invited our friends Carol Allen, Victoria Loveland-Coen, and Linda Siversten to join us (Carol and Victoria were WRS members, too. It’s amazing how many fabulous connections I have made through that group! For those of you in Southern California, go to www.WorthwhileReferralSources.com and find a meeting near you to attend!)

    We met every 2 weeks for many years as we all developed our businesses and wrote books, supported each other through the down times and celebrated the up times. Our schedules no longer allow that many meetings, but we still get together often, brainstorm ideas, encourage each other, and celebrate our wins with a big slice of See’s chocolate cake with whipped cream at our regular haunt, Marmalade’s on Ventura Blvd. in the San Fernando Valley.

    Taking a stand is great, but it’s even better when it’s shared with fabulous friends.

    Hidden Agendas

    Posted on December 6th, 2014 in The Wealthy Spirit by chellie

    Updated insider information by Chellie Campbell, author of “The Wealthy Spirit: Daily Affirmations for Financial Stress Reduction”

     

    340-December 6

    “Two monologues do not equal a dialogue.”—Nick Harrison

     

    Tom and Linda are engaged to be married. Tom is nearly fifty, divorced with no children. He was married once before to a very wealthy woman, didn’t have to work, and so has a rather sporadic work history.

    Linda is from a wealthy family, very taken with Tom’s charm and good looks. She has always resisted taking money from her family and works full time at a lucrative profession. Her goal when they get married is to quit her job, raise three children, and live on Tom’s salary.

    Tom’s goal is to quit his job and live on his wife’s money.

    Neither of them has declared these intentions to the other. Their agendas are hidden. They don’t know that their dreams are at cross-purposes.

    Can this marriage be saved?

    Can yours? Get all your agendas into the open where they can see light of day and you can see the inside of your spouse’s mind. Tell each other the truth and then make plans for each of you to get your needs met. Negotiate and compromise. It’s possible if you are honest with each other. Impossible if you are not.

    Today’s Affirmation: “I speak the truth and declare my dreams so that others can help them come true!”

    Dolphin mosaic at Herculaneum

    Ah, so many times we are afraid to be real, to show our true inner being, to be vulnerable and stand in all our perfection and inperfection in front of another person. We try to figure out what it is they want to see or hear and be that and say that. So many dating books revolve around planning and strategies and say this and don’t say that and what a man wants is and what a woman wants is…but none of that measures up to being in your truth. Be who you are and say what you think and show your feelings. What could you possibly gain by hiding yourself? Showing a fake self can only result in a fake relationship. Those who cannot measure up to your truth don’t deserve it.

    Be who you are and let others fall away if they aren’t up to you. Those who remain will be the Diamond Dolphins of your life.