The Wealthy Spirit Insider

    Practice with Parking

    Posted on February 17th, 2015 in The Wealthy Spirit by chellie

    Updated insider information by Chellie Campbell, author of “The Wealthy Spirit: Daily Affirmations for Financial Stress Reduction”

    48 – February 17

    “The man who removes a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.”—Chinese Proverb

    The process of actualizing your desires is simple:

    1.     Pick a goal

    2.     Visualize yourself having it

    3.     Positively affirm having it

    4.     Send out ships to get it

    5.     Celebrate getting it!

    Visualizing having the goal is a step that is most important to master. Pick something small and easy to practice on at first. You could visualize getting a cab quickly and easily, or getting good news in the mail. Since I live in Los Angeles, where it sometimes seems there are a billion cars, I tell people to practice by manifesting a parking space at a busy shopping mall, theater, etc. The trick to getting parking spaces is to visualize the empty space instead of the crowd of cars.

    My mother called me one day and she was very excited. She told me that she had always had trouble parking at the country club on the days she played golf—it was always very crowded. But this particular day, she remembered my stories of manifesting parking spaces and decided to try it. “I drove right up to the front entrance of the club, visualizing an empty space, and just as I arrived, a car pulled out of a space right in front of me! Chellie, this stuff really works!”

    (continued on page 48 of The Wealthy Spirit)

    Today’s Affirmation: “I visualize and create marvels in my life!”

    My friends and I went to see a production of Late Nite Catechism written by Vicki Quade and Maripat Donovan. It was hilarious. Maripat Donovan plays a nun, and you, the audience members, are part of Sister’s class. She takes you back to the days of the Latin Mass, meatless Fridays, and if you went to Catholic school, reminds you about that good old ruler across the knuckles.

    The friends I went with are Jewish, and I was raised a Methodist, but we all howled with laughter just the same. In this one-woman show, Sister interacts with the audience every step of the way. At one point, some people arrived late and were making their way to their seats.

    “You’re late!” said Sister Maripat.

    “Sorry,” said the man, surprised to be spoken to.

    “Sorry, Sister,” said Sister Maripat.

    “Sorry, Sister,” repeated the man abashedly.

    “Why were you late?” she asked.

    “We couldn’t find a place to park,” he answered.

    “Aha. Parking,” she acknowledged, then turned to the audience. “Does anyone remember the prayer for parking?”

    Several hands were raised, and she called on a woman in the front row. “Stand up and say it for this gentleman, please.”

    Whereupon the woman dutifully turned and clearly repeated,

    “Hail Mary, Full of Grace,

    Help me find a parking space.”

    Prayer: another way of manifesting.

    If you get a chance to see this play, go. The New York Times calls it, “hilarious, well-written and inspired.” Jeffrey Lyons from TV’s Sneak Previews calls Late Nite Catechism ”something to savor and enjoy….one of the most intimate, rewarding shows in town.” Their web site is www.latenitecatechism.com.

    Love of Flying

    Posted on February 16th, 2015 in The Wealthy Spirit by chellie

    Updated insider information by Chellie Campbell, author of “The Wealthy Spirit: Daily Affirmations for Financial Stress Reduction”

    47 – February 16

    “Aerodynamically, the bumblebee shouldn’t be able to fly. But the bumblebee doesn’t know that, so it goes on flying anyway.”—Mary Kay Ash

     

    Carol Allen is a high-energy, darling astrologer who loves to travel. While taking my workshop, she created a new affirmation for herself: “Money is flying at me from all directions.” Here is her report:

    “I started saying this for ten minutes a day and within a week, money started to come to me through flying. First, my long-distance boyfriend sent me a round-trip ticket to visit him in New Mexico. Then, while using the ticket at the airport, Southwest airlines gave me a voucher for twenty dollars off my next flight. In all my years of flying, I’d never heard of such a thing. At the gate of my connecting flight, they gave me another voucher for another twenty dollars. I had a fabulous trip!

    (continued on page 47 of The Wealthy Spirit)

    Today’s Affirmation (of course!): “Money is flying at me from all directions!”

     

    Back in my acting days, I got a call to audition for a Pillsbury Flour television commercial. They were looking for my “type” – a young woman homemaker baking in the kitchen. But it was going to be a regional commercial that would run in the Southern United States, so they stressed that an authentic Southern accent was required.

    I called my boyfriend Stan about the casting opportunity, but told him I didn’t think it was right for me because I wasn’t really from the South. I knew what they wanted because my mother was born and raised in Mississippi, and although she had lived in California for 25 years, she never lost her accent. (It was pretty funny when she tried to help me with my French. Have you ever heard French spoken with a Southern accent? Oy.)

    “Chellie, have you ever listened to yourself after you talk with your mother?” Stan admonished me. “Just call your mom and talk with her for five minutes before the audition. You’ll be fine!”

    I had to laugh at that, so I invented an affirmation for myself that I spoke with a perfect Southern accent. Then I followed his instructions and had a lovely talk with my mom and sure enough, her lilting drawl started creeping into my speech pattern.

    When the producers and director called me into the casting area and had me stand in front of the camera, the director said amiably, “Hi, Chellie.”

    “Hi, y’all,” I replied. (Phonetically, this sounds like “Haa, yawl”.)

    He grinned, and said, “Chellie is an interesting name. Where did that come from?”

    I said, “It’s a family name. My mother is from Mississippi and her name is Chellie LeNell. My grandmother is Chellie Estelle, my cousin is Chellie Lou, and I’m Chellie Lynn.” Everyone in the room perked up and laughed at that.

    “Isn’t that confusing at family reunions?” he asked.

    “No, sir, it’s the South you know, and we always use two names, like Billy Jo and Jim Bob and so there’s no mistake at all.”

    I got the job.

    Have you ever talked your way into believing in something that on the face of it, looked like it couldn’t happen – but then you did it anyway? Go for your dream today, no matter what “facts” are standing in your way!

    Valentine’s Day

    Posted on February 14th, 2015 in The Wealthy Spirit by chellie

    Updated insider information by Chellie Campbell, author of “The Wealthy Spirit: Daily Affirmations for Financial Stress Reduction”

    46 – February 14

    “Today I forgive all those who have ever offended me. I give my love to all thirsty hearts, both to those who love me and to those who do not love me.”—Paramahansa Yogananda

    One Valentine’s Day fell on a Friday, when I had a regularly scheduled business networking meeting. Joe Reber, an estate planning attorney, had brought a valentine for each member of the group—one of the small valentines that we used to give each other in grade school. I could see everyone’s face light up with pleasure as they received their card, remembering with nostalgia their grade school Valentine’s Days. Joe told me he gave one to an older woman he saw at the grocery store and she started to cry. She said she hadn’t gotten a valentine in forty years.

    Is it good business for him to do this? Yes.

    Is that why he does it? No.

    It is clearly a gift from the heart, meant only to give people a moment’s happiness. That’s why it’s good for business.

    I want to refer business to a man like that.

    Today’s Affirmation: “I give gifts from the heart and they flow back to me in return.”

    I remember that Le Tip networking breakfast very well – it was so much fun seeing everyone get their little paper Valentines. When you see people’s faces light up, and that “Awww, thanks” expression, you truly feel how all of us on this planet are connected through the heart.

    Celebrate love today. The love of your spouse, partner or significant other. The love of your family – mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles, grand-nephews, third cousins twice removed – everyone, including the Family of Man. I love Yagananda’s blessing: “I give my love to all thirsty hearts…”

    Me, too.

    Enjoy this day we celebrate love with loving. May an unexpected miracle of love touch your life today!

    Love and hugs,

    Chellie

    Suze Orman Is Living My Life

    Posted on February 13th, 2015 in The Wealthy Spirit by chellie

    Updated insider information by Chellie Campbell, author of “The Wealthy Spirit: Daily Affirmations for Financial Stress Reduction”

    44 – February 13

    “There is no greater glory than love, nor any greater punishment than jealousy.”—Lope de Vega

    Stayed up late last night, reading and writing…it was 12:30 A.M. but I was just charged up and couldn’t sleep. Finally, I got into bed and turned on the television so I could drowse off. And there she was, best-selling author of The 9 Steps to Financial Freedom, bright, cute and smiling all over Oprah. It wasn’t enough that she had her own PBS special running forever like the Taebo of financial fitness. The whole Oprah show was a paean to her. Money sparkled in her eyes, success dripped off her nose, and her stature proclaimed “Millions of Books Sold, Millions of Books Sold!”

    Meanwhile, I didn’t have a publisher yet.

    Saint Chellie chirps, “Isn’t that wonderful? She deserves her success and is helping many people. There’s room for everyone!” Demon Chellie howls at the moon. I want a stiff drink and twelve cigarettes, but I swore off those things and won’t go there. So screw the diet—I eat pie for breakfast. Marie Calendar apple pie. Turns out it’s fat free. Rats. Saint Chellie’s been messing with my grocery list.

    pie

    (continued on page 44 of The Wealthy Spirit)

    Today’s Affirmation: “I applaud other people’s successes because they point the way to my own.”

    For some time, I really was jealous of Suze. One night, in one of my workshops I made a comment about how she had beat me to Oprah, and I wasn’t pleased. A man in the class set me straight right away: “You should be thanking Suze Orman. She’s proved there’s a market for what you do!”

    I stopped and looked at him and cocked my head. “You know, I never thought about it that way before. You’re right! I should be glad she’s out there blazing the trail and making it easier for the rest of us women financial educators to have credibility and be taken seriously. Thank you for sharing that!”

    There was a conversation I joined in on Facebook a while ago, started by my friend and coach, Karyn Greenstreet. A few people mentioned how they felt it was hard for them to be in business because there was so much competition. It was wonderful to see how many people chimed in to say that each person is unique and wonderful with gifts to share that will be needed by the very people who find them and hire them. Here are a few of the comments:

    Karyn began with: “No! No! No! I got an email from a student today who said she wasn’t going to launch her class because she found out that a competitor had a similar class. There is abundance all around us, and you will draw the right students to your class not just because of WHAT you teach, but WHO the teacher is (you!). Do not give up on your dream just because someone else has the same idea.”

    “Thanks…. I had the exact same experience today! And when I saw how similar another amazing female entrepreneur’s idea was to mine… I gasped for a moment and then took it as positive affirmation!”

    “When the zeitgeist (the spirit of the times) is right, you’ll see LOTS of people talking about the same topics. Some will write blog posts on it, some will write books, some will create audios or videos, some will create classes, some will just discuss it with friends. From a practical business point of view, having competition is a GOOD thing: it means that there is a market for what you want to sell.”

    “…who cares that someone else is doing something similar, similar is not the same, it cannot be the same… each person has their own process they take people through and it will never be the same as someone else’s.”

    “Thanks for this…I too suffer from ‘I-don’t-want-to-be-in-direct-competition-itis!’ LOL”

    “A friend recently told me that if many people are teaching the same topic you’re passionate about, it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it. It means that topic is so important that it needs more than one messenger.”

    And I think this comment from Karyn was the capper:

    “I was just thinking: Can you imagine if the folks who wrote West Side Story said, ‘Oh, someone’s already done this story. Let’s not do it. There’s too much competition with that Shakespeare feller.’ LOL”

    What has “The Competition” stopped you from doing?

     

    Saint Chellie in My Mind

    Posted on February 12th, 2015 in The Wealthy Spirit by chellie

    Updated insider information by Chellie Campbell, author of “The Wealthy Spirit: Daily Affirmations for Financial Stress Reduction”

    43 – February 12

    “Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be cumbered with your old nonsense.”—Ralph Waldo Emerson

    Saint Chellie lives in my mind. She is perfect. She never makes mistakes, never says the wrong thing, never makes anyone angry. Never gets angry herself!

    Saint Chellie loves everyone and everyone loves her back. She is never anxious or afraid. People admire her, but she modestly deflects adulation and reflects it back to its originators. She knows the glory is to the message, not to the messenger. She is ideal.

    If I focus too much on her, Saint Chellie makes me feel bad about myself. I can never measure up to her perfection. No matter how good I am, I am never good enough because I can always imagine her being better, doing better, living better.

    Saint Chellie makes me crazy.

    I am not a saint. I am a person. I am a good person, and I love and care for those around me. I do the best I can to spread joy and cheer in the world, take care of my responsibilities, and be honest, faithful and true to myself and others. If I fail today, I will try to do better tomorrow. No mistake is worthless if I learn something from it. But I hold myself harmless from perfection. I accept myself unconditionally just the way I am.

    Saint Chellie is not real. I am real.

    And in spite of all my foibles, fancies, failures; I am good enough.

    Today’s Affirmation: “I am enough. I am more than enough. And I accept myself unconditionally just the way I am.”

    Ah, when I read this story, I remember all the times I felt badly about myself and struggled so to measure up to the graven image I had of the perfect ideal. But who can ever look good when held up against perfection? Maybe that’s another, more obscure meaning behind the Biblical admonition “thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image”.

    Now, this meditation seems to me like the musings of a Tuna-in-recovery, as I am fond of calling myself. I look back with some pity on the self-that-was who needed this affirmation because I really didn’t think I was enough.

    I am better now. No, not a better person, just more recovered from the shame of not being a better person, if you take my meaning. At present, I’m quite pleased with myself for the most part.

    This is one of the fringe benefits of growing older. If you survive your youth, you find yourself morphing into your Strong and Wise place. And you get pretty proud of having arrived there, too. Self-satisfied and asking for the world to deliver goodies.

    I call it my Arrogant Bitch Phase of Life. I like it really fine.

    The Glad Game

    Posted on February 11th, 2015 in The Wealthy Spirit by chellie

    Updated insider information by Chellie Campbell, author of “The Wealthy Spirit: Daily Affirmations for Financial Stress Reduction”

    42 – February 11

    “The sun is always shining. Even though clouds may come along and obscure the sun for a while, the sun is always shining. The sun never stops shining. And even though the earth turns, and the sun appears to go down, it really never stops shining.”—Louise Hay

    When I was young, my sisters and I would sometimes run home to mother, crying over some tragedy that had just befallen us. We would be heartbroken because the boy we liked didn’t ask us to the prom, or we lost the election, or didn’t get the part we wanted in the school play. Whatever the problem was, mom would always hold us and murmur sympathetically, letting us know she was sorry for our hurt—for about five minutes. Tops.

    Then she would say, “Well, let’s play the glad game!” (I think she got this from the movie, Pollyanna.) She would brighten up, smile and get us to think about all of the things we had that were positive, that we were grateful for, or glad about. It wouldn’t be long before we were happy again, having learned to move on from the bad things, and to reconnect with all that was good in our lives.

    (continued on page 42 of The Wealthy Spirit)

    Today’s Affirmation: “My attitude of gratitude creates more and more blessings in my life.”

    If you ever hope to be successful in business or in life, you have to look on the bright side of the equation. You can’t be thinking about what’s wrong, what’s missing, the goal you didn’t reach, the client you didn’t get all the time. If you thought about that every day, you wouldn’t get out of bed, pick up the phone, or make another phone call.

    It’s really hard sometimes, when things break down, when the client isn’t happy, when yet another prospect says no. You can easily get depressed when that happens and go spiraling down the drain of “nobody likes me, everybody hates me, I’m going to go eat worms…” as the old childhood song goes.

    But then you get an email like this one I just received this week:

    Dear Chellie,

    I just wanted to write and thank you for your fantastic book; I’ve really enjoyed the 365-day format, which is easy to dip in and out of and your personal stories and experiences make it all the more real.

    There are lots of corners turned over now as I flip back and fore to the most relevant bits for me.

    Keep up the good work.

    Julie (Dolphin J)

    Sun over New Zealand by Tania Rose

    A note like that immediately brightens the world for me again. I remember the Glad Game, that people I don’t even know are being helped by my work, that I have made a contribution to the world. I remember to be grateful for every person who ever said yes to me, smiled at me, read my book, or took my Financial Stress Reduction® course and helped me make my living from this wonderful work I found to do.

    It doesn’t matter how many ships run aground or hit an iceberg and sink. There are always more ships to send out, and there are always more that come in. It doesn’t matter how many people decline to love you – hold fast to the ones that do. They are precious, and reason enough for anyone to be glad.

    For this life and the wonderful people in it, I am grateful. Whether today brings in ships or not does not matter.  The sun is always shining.

    Ski School

    Posted on February 10th, 2015 in The Wealthy Spirit by chellie

    Updated insider information by Chellie Campbell, author of “The Wealthy Spirit: Daily Affirmations for Financial Stress Reduction”

    41 – February 10

    “I will not participate in a sport where there is an ambulance parked at the bottom of the hill.”—Erma Bombeck

    I had always wanted to learn to ski, and when one of my clients offered me the use of his condo at Mammoth Mountain, I jumped at the chance. When I got there, I signed up for ski school. All went fine for the first couple of days. I learned the basic “plow” stance and could remain on my feet on the bunny slopes. But I was excited as the third day dawned bright and crisp, for this was the day the ski class was going up the mountain. There were about twenty-five students in the class and we all watched intently as the instructor showed us how to do turns. I was at the end of the line as we practiced our turns skiing down the slope concentrating very hard, eyes on my skis. Finally, I made it to the bottom of the slope, and I looked up proudly.

    No one was there. The entire class had disappeared. I was at an intersection of eight trails and I had no idea which way they had gone. I had no map. Shocked and scared, I took my skis off, sat down in the snow and burst into tears, crying and feeling sorry for myself for about ten minutes. Then I thought, “Well, this isn’t going to get me down the mountain.” So I picked a trail and skied down it, only to find that at the bottom, there was nothing but another chair lift. Panic set in—the last thing I wanted to do was go back up the mountain! I needed help. I looked at all the people in line, picked out a sympathetic young man, told him my sad story and begged for assistance. He was terrific and coached me up the chair lift and skiing down the hill to the main ski lodge.

    As I waved goodbye to my hero, back safe and sound at the lodge, all of my fear turned into rage. I marched into the ski school and complained bitterly about having been lost on the mountain by their instructor. The nice young man at the desk didn’t miss a beat and offered me a free class the next day. (Well, what else was I going to do for a week at a ski resort?)

    I arrived at ski school the next day as usual—with one difference. Now I wore a big, bright pink hat. I introduced myself to the instructor and told him that the last instructor had lost me on the mountain. I said, “Do you see this pink hat? Whatever happens today, I want you to make sure that this pink hat is with you every step of the way.” And he did, and I learned to ski.

    There are several morals to this story: 1. The price of success is failure. 2. Crying about failures won’t get you where you want to go. 3. When you fail, ask for help. 4. If someone else fails, ask for reimbursement. 5. If all else fails, wear a pink hat.

    Today’s Affirmation: “Good things happen to me every day!”

    The skiing thing didn’t last. It was just a little too challenging for someone who’s afraid of heights and doesn’t like to be cold, see?

    Some people like that kind of a challenge – it gets the adrenaline pumping. I don’t like my adrenaline pumping because of fear of death. There are better ways, you know, like winning a poker tournament. I might lose the tournament, but Wild Bill Hickock notwithstanding, I’m pretty sure I’m not gonna die as a result.

    BTW, I won the Queen of Hearts LIPS Poker Tournament yesterday at the Bicycle Casino!

     

     

    I’ve often wondered what the big charge is about mountain climbing. I saw the movie “Into Thin Air” and read the book, too. Kept a big blanket wrapped around me, drank hot coffee, and ate lots of munchies the entire time. (“One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich” affected me the same way.) The down side of mountain climbing is death, okay? Best case scenario is you’re going to be really cold and oxygen-starved. I guess the view is terrific, but I can rent a movie to see that, and be curled up and warm on my couch at the same time.

    I watched a documentary about a young boy whose father had been one of those extreme skiers who ski where no one else goes, on cliffs at 55º angles. (I don’t remember the name of this movie, but you can similarly chill your blood watching “Steep”.) His father had been killed skiing on a mountain in France, and the boy wanted to ski it, too, as a memorial testimonial to his dad. He had a lot of people helping and training him, but bottom line, he was undertaking a very grave risk (pun intended).

    What was his mother thinking??

    Challenges

    Posted on February 9th, 2015 in The Wealthy Spirit by chellie

    Updated insider information by Chellie Campbell, author of “The Wealthy Spirit: Daily Affirmations for Financial Stress Reduction”

    40 – February 9

    “Success seems to be largely a matter of hanging on after others have let go.”—William Feather

    I was always a good student in high school English class, but I had heard terrible things about the low grades typically given to freshman English students. So when my teacher, Mr. Hathaway asked if anyone had questions, I raised my hand and said, “I’ve heard a nasty rumor that only Cs, Ds, and Fs are given in this class. Is that true?” And he smiled and answered, “Yes.” Surprised that he would admit to it, I asked him “Why?” He replied that freshmen students usually didn’t write well enough to get a better grade than that.

    The challenge was issued. I resolved then and there that I was going to get an A in this class.

    I turned in my first paper and waited anxiously for my grade. “C+” slashed the mark at the top of the paper. Used to receiving “A”s, I stared at this low mark. I made an appointment to see Mr. Hathaway after class.

    He smiled as I walked into his office for the meeting. “How can I help you?” he asked. I said, “I’m unhappy with my grade, and I want to know what’s wrong with my paper.” “It’s a very good paper,” he replied, “You got the highest grade in the class.” “That’s good,” I said quietly, “but not good enough. What makes this paper a ‘C’ instead of an ‘A’?” He looked somewhat surprised, but then got to work explaining in detail where my paper lacked power.

    On the next paper, I got a “B.” “Good,” I thought, “I’m making progress.” At the end of the lecture, I walked over to Mr. Hathaway and said, “I’d like to make an appointment to see you after class.” “Why?” he said, “You got the highest grade in the class!” “That’s wonderful,” I replied, “But I want to write ‘A’ level papers, and it’s your job to teach me how to do that.” We made another appointment and he taught me more about writing.

    I received an “A” on the next paper. And the next. And on nearly every paper from then on. I still have the postcard he sent me to notify me of my final grade in the class: “This is the only ‘A’ I have given in a group of forty-six students. You earned it: You performed well and you seemed to care about what you learned. I especially hope that I am right when I say you care about what you learn—I hope you believe there is meaning in all that you do. You can do very well in school; don’t ever work for an ‘A,’ however, when to do so would mean spending time doing something that won’t get you anywhere worthwhile.” I appreciated his final lesson: He wanted me to win the war, not just the battle.

    Determination is everything. I got this “A” because I was determined to have it and I was going to do whatever it took to have it. Be determined about something today. Anything you want.

    Today’s Affirmation: “I relish the challenges that lift me higher and make me better!”

    I read an article in the Hollywood Reporter a while back which interviewed the screenwriters of the movies nominated for Best Picture for the 2011 Academy Awards. Michael Arndt, author of Toy Story 3 when asked, “What’s a typical workday like?” responded:

    “I wake up late, have breakfast, read the paper, procrastinate until I hate myself, and then I just start writing.”

    Don’t you love that “procrastinate until I hate myself”! I do that, too. If I never had a deadline, I’d probably procrastinate forever. But giving myself deadlines, like writing this blog every day, makes me do what I truly, deeply want to do anyway – express myself through writing.

    When I was in college, I wrote all my term papers in my head on the 2 mile walk to campus. I had little pieces of paper in my pocket with a pen, and when I had an idea, I’d write it down. The night before the paper was due, I’d pull out all the little bits and organize them on the table in front of me, and then start writing. I’d wait until I had a complete paragraph in mind before starting to type – this was in the days where there were no duplicating machines, no computers, only carbon paper, and if you made a mistake on page 2 you had to type all the pages after that all over again. I hated that so much I wanted to do each paper perfectly from the beginning so I didn’t have to waste time retyping. So I wrote the rough drafts in my head and turned in the first typewritten copy.

    Now it’s so easy to edit, rearrange, and redo a manuscript, I can easily just start writing and go back and rework things later. But old habits die hard, so usually I am thinking throughout the day and scribbling notes to myself on bits of paper. By the time I start writing with my paper bits scattered on the desk, I’ve got most of the story written in my head already.

    I’m still looking for an “A” but not from Mr. Hathaway – from my readers. Where is your “A”? And what are you doing to achieve it?

    “Yeah, Buts”

    Posted on February 7th, 2015 in The Wealthy Spirit by chellie

    Updated insider information by Chellie Campbell, author of “The Wealthy Spirit: Daily Affirmations for Financial Stress Reduction”

    38 – February 7

    “You can have what it is you want, or you can have your reasons for not having it.”—Werner Erhard

    It is an interesting phenomenon that when told of a problem, most people will try to be helpful and offer advice to try to help solve it. It seems to be just naturally what people do. The response to the helper’s advice often sounds like this: “Yeah, but that won’t work for me because…,” or “Yeah, but I tried that once and it didn’t work…,” or “Yeah, but my case is different….” This is the voice of someone who is defending their position, not looking for solutions. They are great at finding evidence for why problems can’t be solved rather than actively looking for help to change their situation.

    “Yeah, buts” have a very negative psychological effect on the person trying to help. They’ve just been rejected, essentially told that their advice is no good, inappropriate or doesn’t work. It’s very difficult to keep trying to make positive suggestions to Yeahbutters. “Yeah, buts” build a big dam in the river of creative ideas.

    (continued on page 38 of The Wealthy Spirit)

    Today’s Affirmation: “I am now enjoying great financial prosperity!”

    I admit to being a World Class Yeahbutter myself.

    Surprised?

    Yes.  We often teach best what we need to learn most, as Richard Bach said.

    When someone said, “Chellie, you should teach workshops!” I said, “Oh, no, I don’t think I can do that.”

    When someone said, “Chellie, you should write a book!” I said, “Yeah, but that’s too much work and I don’t want to schlep product around.”

    When someone said, “Chellie, you should franchise your workshops!” I said, “Yeah, that’s a great idea, but I’m not ready to do that yet.”

    Upon reflection, I think “yeah, buts” are often the way we work things out in our minds before we take action. We do need to be thankful for the cautionary voice inside us that reminds us that there might be potential downsides to our plan. We have to consider the ramifications of our actions before embarking on a new course of action. What are the problems we might encounter? What would we be willing to do to surmount them? How might our life be changed if we get what we want?

    And then we have to be prepared with a Plan B if Plan A doesn’t pan out…

    Sometimes “yeah, but” is just a wishy-washy way of saying we don’t want to do it. So pause before the next time you’re about to say “yeah, but” and think if what you really mean is “Thanks for the suggestion, but I’ve decided against doing that.” It’s certainly fine to say, “No.”

    But you want to be careful not to shut-down your Creative Contributors from having great ideas for you. You want them to keep coming, because sometimes they have an idea that is so perfect for you, your answer is going to be, “Wow! That’s a fabulous idea! I’m going to get started on that right away!”

    Isn’t that what you most want to hear when you offer someone a suggestion?

     

     

    Buy the Artichoke

    Posted on February 6th, 2015 in The Wealthy Spirit by chellie

    Updated insider information by Chellie Campbell, author of “The Wealthy Spirit: Daily Affirmations for Financial Stress Reduction”

    37 – February 6

    “When I’m about to take a risk, I consider the down side. If it’s not death, I do it.”—Nancy Sardella

    Amy Frelinger, one of my class participants, came in one afternoon exasperated about an experience she had at the grocery store. She had seen an older woman in the produce section looking over the artichokes. The woman picked up one, then another, of the vegetables, turning them around and around in her hands, frowning. Noticing Amy watching her, she smiled and said, “I don’t know how to cook these, do you?” Amy said that she did, and gave her some simple directions on how to steam the artichoke and then eat it with melted butter.

    Another woman overheard the conversation and chimed in with the suggestion that she dip it in herb salad dressing. Soon there were several people making suggestions on different ways to cook artichokes, encouraging the woman to try it. The woman listened and seemed to enjoy the conversation, but eventually put the artichoke back, saying, “I’m just not sure about this.”

    Amy was aghast. She was incredulous that the woman couldn’t take the risk to cook an artichoke. “It only cost $1.49!” she exclaimed. “How big a risk could it be?”

    Step outside your comfort zone today. Take a risk. You don’t have to quit your job, get divorced or move to another country yet. Practice with little risks. Shop at a different grocery store. Drive a different route to work. Try out a new restaurant. Watch a foreign film with subtitles. Cut your hair. Go to a concert. Sleep on the other side of the bed.

    Cook an artichoke.

    Today’s Affirmation: “I relish new experiences that enrich my life!”

    I give this exercise in my workshop – to make some little changes. Simple ones like part your hair on the other side (feels really weird), put your other shoe on first (didn’t know you did it the same every day did you?), or change the way you put the toilet paper on the toilet paper holder (if you always have it going over the top, put it so the paper comes out underneath).

    Truly compulsive behavior is changing the toilet paper in other people’s homes (and yes, I’ve done that).

    It took me awhile to figure out that there were some people in class who had no trouble changing things up. They didn’t have many routines at all, and never did things the same way twice. So the exercise never made them feel awkward or out of sync.

    When I figured that out, after giving the exercise instructions, I asked if anyone found that an easy exercise because they were always changing things? Several people smiled and nodded, exclaiming that they never did the same thing.

    “Well, don’t feel so smug,” I said, “because you’re going to do the opposite exercise. I want you to invent a routine of seven or eight steps and do that same routine every morning without any changes.”

    “Oh, no!” they moaned and groaned and complained, just like the others who had to mix it up.

    Once a man who was very ordered and compulsive went home and changed all the toilet paper rolls in his home and at work. It drove him crazy every day, and when he came to class, he reported how it upset him to have his routine broken that way.

    His wife, who was one of the creative never-do-it-the-same-way-twice types, looked at him in amazement and said, “Honey, I didn’t know you did that!”

    I tell them then that if they can’t change a little thing like the toilet paper, how are they going to change a big thing like their money? Take a look at what you are resistant to changing, and also where you never make a decision about the best way to do something. Both the ability to change and the ability to set a routine are important to establishing a good relationship with money. You need some structure, and some flexibility.

    Where do you get stuck? In the structure or in the changes?